What I Have Lived For

Russell, Bertrand Arthur William (1872-1970)

我爲什麽而活

羅素.伯特蘭.亞瑟.威廉姆（1872-1970）

Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.

有三種單純而強烈的激情，主宰了我的一生：對愛情的渴望、對知識的探索，對遭受苦難的人類不可抑制的憐憫。

These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a great ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.

這三種激情，就像狂風，漫無目的地，在痛苦的海洋上，把我吹得東倒西歪，直達絕望的彼岸。

I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy - ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy.

我尋求愛情，首先，因為愛讓人銷魂——這種沉醉強大到足以讓我爲了幾個小時的快樂而捨棄餘生。

我尋求愛情，其次，是因為愛減輕孤獨——這種可怕的孤獨在我戰慄的意識里，瀰漫了我的一生，直達冰冷的無底的死亡的深淵。

I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined.

我尋求愛情，最後，是因為我所看到的所有因愛而結合的場景，恰像一幅神秘的袖珍畫，展現了聖徒和詩人所描述的天堂的幻影。

This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what--at last--I have found.

這就是我追尋的愛情，唯恐其太美好以至於人生難以承受。而這就是，在終極意義上，我在愛情中所尋到的美。

With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.

帶著同樣的熱情，我探求知識。我盼望能夠瞭解人的心。我盼望能夠明白星星爲什麽閃耀。甚至，我试着去理解毕达哥拉斯所谓的“在这个風雨漂搖的世界上唯有数字是HOLD住一切的力量。”……這其間的一點點，當然啦，真的不是很多，我懂得了。

Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate this evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.

愛情和知識，盡它們所能達到的極限，帶我直達天堂。但是憐憫總是讓我跌落地面。那些痛苦的哭聲在我的心中迴響。飢餓的兒童、被暴君拷打的受難者、無助的老人成為子女的負擔，以及充斥在整個世界的孤獨、貧窮與苦難，使得我想當然的人生就像一個笑柄。我渴望克服（憐憫）這個魔鬼，但是我做不到，因此我備受煎熬。

This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.

這，就是我的一生。我已經知道，人生值得一過，如果誰給我機會再活一次，我將欣然接受（再這麼活一回）。