My Testimony
by Susan
Hi there, everyone! I’m Susan, for all those of you who doesn’t know, and this is the story of how I came to know Christ.
I didn’t grow up in a Christian family, like many of the kids here. Five years ago, I was still attending school in China. I don’t remember much about my life in China. I do remember, though, when I first started to seriously consider the existence of God. It was when my dad got baptised during the spring of 2011, almost two years ago.
After he got baptised, me and my dad started having discussions at dinner about “How do you know God exists” or “How can you trust the Bible is God’s word” and other questions like that. I’ve been to church a little bit, but I’ve never actually thought about what the people there believe in until then. I was, and still might be, a stubborn person. My dad came up with pretty good answers, but I wasn’t willing to accept them. I didn’t really think about what he said,didn’t think he might be right. I spent all my energy trying to come up with more questions to stump him. That went on for…..maybe half a year. And during that time, my family moved to Oak Park and started going to the church here.
Meanwhile, I’ve been having other problems with moving to Oak Park. Transfering to a new school that was completely different from my school before was….very hard for me. I used to look forward to school, but during that time, I started hating it more and more. I didn’t like my classmates, didn’t like my classes, and just didn’t like going to school in general. I didn’t have anything to look forward to in school, and didn’t have anything to look forward to in life. I couldn’t see any point in waking up every morning, but there was nothing I can do about it, so I had to endure the boredom and pointlessness of every day life……until church started to change me.
The more I came to CBCOP, the more I wanted to come. At first, it was just because I had fun here, and because it’s the one place I could relax each week. Then, CBCOP started becoming the only thing that kept me from going insane. Outside of church, my life was…dreadful, from my point of view. Not in the sense that I’m physically hurting, but because my mind was in turmoil. Why was I ever born if I just had to live through boredom every single day of my life? Why did humans had to exist? Why did the universe had to exist?
Those thoughts played around in my mind every day, and it felt like I was loosing control over my life. Every minute of my day was routine: wake up, go to school, do your homwork, work on stuff, and go to sleep. Boring. And there’s no point to it whatsoever if all of us is just going to die in the end. Then, I started thinking about what Teacher Midm and Pastor Mark was teaching us. If what they said was true…..that there actually is a God out there…….then all my questions would be easily answered. Suddenly, my whole viewpoint on the idea of Christianity changed. Before, I thought it as a crazy idea us humans use to comfort ourselves. I praised myself in not being deluded and tried my best to get other people to stop beleiving in it. That was why all my discussions with my dad weren’t penetrating my heart. After thinking a bunch of depressing thoughts for a while, though, I started to think maybe it’s not a bad thing. I thought, if there’s a chance, at all, that there’s a God out there, I want to believe in it. Those Christians seem to know what they’re doing, more importantly, they know why they’re doing it. I want to become a Chistian too.
That was my first step. I wanted to believe. Easier said than done. It’s not like I can just say “Brain, make me believe in God”. How do I explain this feeling? A better way to put it would be “I hope God exists and that Christians are right. I want there to be some logical evidence to prove that. To prove the Bible is true.” I prayed to the Lord. I prayed that, if he’s out there, he would change my heart and let me believe, and let me know the why I believe. During that time, I went to church more and more. My viewpoint on life changed. I started seeing many things at school that I can look forward to, and my life outside of church became exciting again.
Last summer, I finally accepted Christ into my heart. I had just returned from my trip to China, and I couldn’t wait to go back to church. My stay in China had been a little too long for my taste, and I felt incomplete from not going to church for so long. When the time finally came, during worship, I realized I meant everything I was singing. During the Sunday classes, I realized I was looking at everything from a new light. All of my prayers had worked!! After going to God-X and Sunday School more and more, and after praying over and over again, I felt myself growing closer and closer to the Lord. I was unwilling to get baptised, though, mostly because I felt I still didn’t know enough about being a Christian. Pastor Mark’s lessons at God-X and Teacher Ben’s classes on apologetics finally gave me the confidence I needed dearly. Now, I feel less worried because I know God is with me. I can place my problems into his hands and know he will take care of me. I can pray and mean what I’m saying. I would be able to share Jesus with my friends and family. After a many months of stalling, I feel I am ready to get baptised.
Looking back on the few months before I came to know Christ, I now realize I was saved just in time. A few more months of living in that confused and doubting state of mind, and I probabaly would’ve gone insane. But I didn’t. The Lord helped me and pulled me through. I know I’m not a perfect person, I know I’m not worthy of His grace and mercy, and I’m just really grateful that He would accept me as I am and turn me into a new being. Just knowing He’s there, watching over me, is so comforting to me. Now that I believe in the Lord, I feel like I won’t have to worry ever again. It’s an amazing feeling, letting God take control of my life. And as a added bonus, I get to go to heaven!
I’ll try my best to live my life for the Lord and give everything I have to him. He sacrificed his own son, and giving up my life is the least I can do. So….this is it. This is my testimony, thank you for listening.
中文译文：“一个十二岁的孩子每天质疑枯燥重复的生活时怎么办”
| 渺渺 (2013-03-25 23:18:10) |
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这篇关于如何认识基督的文章写得很好，如果能够翻译成中文让更多的人看到就太好了！从一个孩子的视野来认识上帝的存在，写得非常真实，非常生动。谢谢分享！ |
| 渺渺 (2013-03-25 23:30:40) |
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这篇见证有中文翻译的，请去看题为“一个十二岁的孩子每天质疑枯燥重复的生活时怎么办”，写得非常好！多谢啦！ |
| 周小哭 (2013-03-26 02:10:52) |
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是我发文不够仔细，没有把作者信息提供清楚。 |