肖 红：理发店引起的一次电话采访
上个月，我和先生开车前往Chalotte的一家画廊看画展。出门时，正好发现隔壁有一家理发店。于是，我们便信步走了进去。当时正好中午时分，理发店里无其他顾客-------“来得早不如赶得巧。”我感慨道。于是，店里的两位理发师分别将我和先
生承包了。
多年来我有一个习惯：每次理发我都要和理发师聊聊天，聊的都是些家长理短之事。这天也毫不例外。我问理发师：您家中有几个孩子？他们是男还是女？理发师告诉我：她有三个儿子------老大已参加工作，老二老三均在读书。于是我又问：那您先生是做什么工作的呢？不曾想她的回答竟是：我没有丈夫。“没有丈夫又怎来的娃呢？还三个。” 我不禁在心里说。于是我迅速将话题引向其他。
在回家的路上，我告诉了我先生有关我和理发师的聊天内容。他和我一样均为之感到诧异：难道黑人家庭竟有如此之事？男人只知播种，孩子竟全由女人来承担抚养？男人作为父亲责任在哪？孩子的教育及人生他竟能不参与？这个世界如果站其相当比例的黑人家庭都是如此的话，那美国又怎可不避免接二连三的发生枪杀案呢？想到此，我便有了一个想法：一定要寻找机会找到一黑人，对他（或她）进行一次采访。有可能探究一下“美国黑人家庭中，无婚姻而由母亲一人承担抚养孩子的家庭大概占据他们黑人族总人口的比例是多少？”
机会终于来了。每周我和先生均会去大儿子儿媳的餐厅，帮助他们包包饺子与混沌。由于他们是在疫情期间，从华盛顿到北卡来创业的。故此他们所租借的餐厅如同一个大作坊：里面含有来自世界各地不同的食品------均由不同人种做出代表他们那个种族，具有特色的佳肴。出餐方式基本以ToGo方式，让顾客拿回家去就餐。当然Charlotte市政府也在此大作坊的一侧提供了给少数来 Uptown 购物，并吃午餐的堂吃者一个较为优雅的房间。每次我和先生来此大作坊包饺子，均与各不同种族与肤色的饭店主人或家属寒暄与问候。一日当我发现有一黑人女老板常常带着她的两个女儿为顾客提供汉堡包及热狗之类食品时，我便除了与她打招呼，还时不时与她和她的两个女儿聊上几句。上周末，当我和先生又去大作坊包饺子遇见那位黑人女老板时，我便问她及两个女儿之姓名及联系方式，并开诚布公地对她说：我想对她进行一次电话采访，不知她同意否？她说她叫Robyn，并十分爽快地答应了我的电话采访之事。因她周末要开店，故此，我便在她休息日星期一上午拨响了Robyn 家中的电话------从而开始了我对她的电话采访。
Helen: Hi, Robyn! I'm Helen. How are you today?
Robyn: I'm fine. How about you?
Helen: Good. What are you doing right now? Taking care of your grandchildren?
( because she once told me that she had two grand-children. )
Robyn: No. We do not live together.
Helen: I got it. Robyn, Shall I start my interview with you right now? I wish that we can have a free chat. Is it OK?
Robyn: Ya, that's OK.
Helen: May I know how many children do you have?
Robyn: Seven.
Helen: Really? I only know that you have two daughters helping you in the restaurant. And I thought you might have another one or two boys. But I never thought that you have as many as seven kids. May I know how many girls and boys do you have?
Robyn: Three girls and four boys.
Helen: I've seen your two daughters. What are their names and ages? How about the other kids? Would you tell me something more about them?
Robyn: The two daughters you have seen: one of them is 21-----her name is Lyannah, and she is my eldest daughter. And the other one is 15 years old. Her name is Diamond. Then I have another girl, 13 and four boys-----the oldest is 19 , then 15, 14, and 9 years old.
Helen: Robyn, You still look young even with so many kids already! May I know how old are you?
Robyn: I am 39 years old. And I was born in 1983.
Helen: Oh, you really not look that. May I know how old were you when you gave birth to your first child, Lyannah?
Robyn: I was only 17 years old.
Helen: May I know what does your husband do?
Robyn: I don't have a husband, but I've got a boy friend.
Helen: ( "Oh, another black lady with no husband, but a Mom of seven children, I really can't believe my ears." I talked to myself. ) May I know that all the children you have been taking care of? How about the seven children's fathers? Do they provide children love or financial support?
Robyn: No. Nothing!
Helen: My goodness. ( When she said "NO, Nothing", I could feel that she said with a tone of helpless. ) How uneasy for you as a Mom to take care of your seven children? May I know how much money could you get after giving birth to each of them from USA government?
Robyn: It was $200 for each child. They sent checks to my home every month, and with Food Stamps to each child, too.
Helen: May I know have all your children been covered with medical health insurance?
Robyn: Yes. All my seven children get their health insurance except me.
Helen: Oh, how can that be? I can't imagine one day if you are sick , without a husband by your side, neither with health insurance, how can you take care of your seven children? What a government! What an unfair USA insurance policy? Do you agree with me?
Robyn: Ya, Ya......
Helen: Again she answered "Ya, Ya......" with a tone of helpless. ( I was thinking that she, as many as of her race families, with no complaints to the children's fathers, but with thanks to the government's pay checks and food stamps to their households each month. How about the responsibilities for those children's father(s)? What an unbelievable family structure for black people have! What a terrible and deformed society for USA? ) Robyn, could you tell me have all your children got ( or getting ) their education?
Robyn: Yes. The oldest daughter, Lyannah, started working after her graduation from middle school. And the second one, 19 years old, now is in jail. Dimand, who you know my second daughter, is right now in high school, and the rest kids are either in middle schools or elementary schools. Their education are all for free.
Helen: I beg your pardon. You told me your 19 year old boy is in jail? What happened, may I know? Would you mind telling me something more about it?
Robyn: I don't mind. My son had an accident for shooting, but no one was hurt.
Helen: ( I can't believe my ears. "Her son had a crime for shooting." But as a Mom, she said it was an accident. ) How does your son feel today in jail? Does he feel sorry for what he has done? Did he tell you that he missed you and his sisters and brothers?
Robyn: Yes, he feels sorry for what he has done. And he got a phone to call me, and said he missed me as well as his sisters and brothers.
Helen: Did you go to see him in jail?
Robyn: No, never. The jail is far away from my home.
Helen: May I know how far is it?
Robyn: It's more than three hours' drive.
Helen: Robyn, may I know besides working, what do you usually do? Taking care of your grandchildren? Do you live together with your grandchildren?
Robyn: No. My oldest daughter does not live with me-----it's about 30 minute's drive from my home.
Helen: May I know what's your original country------which means from which country were your grandpa and grandpa's parents? Were they from Africa?
Robyn: No, they from America.
Helen: Though I repeated my question, still her answer was America. So I changed my topic back to her oldest daughter. May I know how many grand children do you have? What does your daughter's husband do?
Robyn: She doesn't have a husband. I have two grandchildren: one is 6, a girl, will soon goes to elementary school. And the other one is a boy, 4 years old, right now is in the kindergarten.
Helen: ( Unbelievable! Another young lady ( Robyn's daughter, 21 years old ) ---with two children already, but with no husband! "What a family structure for her race! And what a society for USA! " ) On hearing this, I asked Robyn: may I know how can your daughter, Lyannah handles the two kids without her husband's support? Do you pay her while she works in your restaurant?
Robyn: Yes. After giving birth to her first child, Lyannah started to work for me. In this way, she can raise her two children. And she also gets the pay check of $200 and food stamps each month for each of her children from the government.
Helen: I was told that your daughter not long ago just had an abortion for the third child, right? May I know why for that?
Robyn: She just wishes to focus on raising and educating these two children-----not want any more.
Helen: It's good for her to think so. I think you, as a Mom, as a mirror to your daughter(s)-----in the passing years, it was so hard for you to raise seven children. I remember that you started working since you were 17, right? And you have given everything to your children but with no husband could help you, right? She must be very clear about all these. May I know your parents are all alive and in good health? Do they also living in Charlotte?
Robyn: Yes, my Mom also lives in Charlotte, but not living with me. And my father passed away long time ago.
Helen: Robyn, thank you for your time and family story sharing with me! You are a great Mom for raising up seven children. Whenever I saw you in the City Kitchen, you were always wearing smiles ----- which impressed me. Thank you for receiving my interview though phone. Have a nice day! Good-bye!
Robyn: Thank you very much and good-bye!
总结：
我与Robyn的电话聊天时间并不算太长（不到一小时），可所涵盖的有关美国黑人家庭的不完整结构，以及所造成的母亲女儿均无丈夫，却不得不承担沉重的家庭与抚养孩子重担；孩子过早辍学以及枪杀案等等，均暴露出美国长期以来所存在的实质性社会问题。据Robyn说：在美国有约25%的黑人家庭如她的家庭结构。
我们知道：家庭（作为一个国家的最小元素）将永远是我们这个社会稳定与和谐的基石。如果一个个的家庭不健全，或者被瓦解了------如我们所了解的以上两个美国黑人的无丈夫家庭（ 理发师与Robyn）。 如果一个家庭的孩子如Robyn 家，既无父母双方的疼爱与教育，也无父母共同给予孩子必要的安全与保护等等，那么，这个破损家庭的女孩子就会出现过早辍学，出现早孕或堕胎等（如 Robyn 的大女儿）； 而这个家庭的男孩就可能成为像Robyn19岁大儿子一般-----持枪造成凶杀案，成为美国黑社会的一名暴徒或犯罪分子。
通过此次采访，我们不仅了解到：美国黑人种族中，家庭结构的不完整------男人只知播种却不知行使父亲之责任与教育的人大有所在。从而我们似乎找到了为何美国社会混乱，枪击案连年发生的真正原因所在。如果一个社会长期如此下去，一个个家庭的道德与伦理完全丧失（一代传一代）是一件十分可怕的事情。与此同时，我们还可知：美国政府所制定和实施的一系列救济政策除了真正帮助到那些来美国追求梦想的人们外，是否也促使一部分好吃懒做之人宁愿乞讨吃救济也不愿工作，致使美国的贩毒与犯罪现象严重，从而破坏了美国整个社会的稳定与富强。如今的美国问题之多，似乎到了一个积重难返之地步。由此看来，确实值得我们每一位移居美国的华裔人好好地去思考的一个问题。但愿此文及采访能使我们众多在美国生活的华裔关注我们身边的不同种族，同时不断提高我们的自身防护与保护意识，努力争取在我们各自所工作与生活的领域打下一片自己的天地。祝福大家！