父亲的节日
作者：陈开文
父亲节准确地说应该叫“贺曼节”。它其实是贺曼明信片公司和其他公司为了赚钱，用父爱做幌子假设出来的一天而已。父亲节没有什么不好，但是在我看来，每天都应该是父亲节，因为，无论你是否喜欢与否，我们每一个人都有自己的父亲。就我而言，我过去喜欢过父亲节，现在依然喜欢这个特殊的节日。
我的父亲曾经伴随着我成长。我们彼此还算了解，但是了解得还不够深。在我很小的时候，父亲回到中国开始创业，追求他自己的梦想。对于我来说，我很难接受这个事实。起先，我以为时间不会太长，也没有那么复杂，父亲只是暂时离开我，过几年之后他就会永远地回到我的身边。我的想法不对吗？但是我错了，迄今为止，我的父亲仍然还在中国。
现在，我已经很适应他不在我身边的生活，对未来也不用担心。但是有父亲陪伴在家的感觉，我再也体会不到了，这件事非常困扰我。事实上，我错过了父亲陪伴我成长，以及从父亲那里得着教诲的好时光。在那些艰难的日子里，不仅仅是我陷入痛苦之中，我的妹妹和妈妈也是同样如此。
当我和妹妹进入初中阶段的时候，我希望他能留下来做我的后盾，我想我妹妹也是如此想法。许多意想不到的事情时时发生，而我却无法阻挡。我跑向父亲，希望从他那里获得智慧，知识，帮助。。。但是这些只是梦幻，他根本就不在我的身边。无法计算有多少次，我和他通过电话交谈，眼泪流过我的面颊，心在隐隐地作痛。我知道，我只能用这种方式和他争吵。
我从来不怀疑父亲具有独特的幽默感和智慧。虽然在很多时候，他和我们讲话，总好像是在训导他的孩子，就好像他是我们的老师一样，这让我和妹妹很不习惯，感觉他很可笑和无聊，但是，我们私下里不得不承认他讲得很有道理。偶尔，他也会说些俏皮话，表现出他“年轻”的一面，那是因为他想弥补错失和我们在一起的遗憾。这种感觉在电话中无法体会得到，但是当我们彼此都可以看见对方的时候，我却能深深地了解，父亲一如既往地爱着我们，正如我们一如既往地爱着他一样。
我父亲非常聪明。他从小生长在中国，并且几乎是百里挑一的，从大西北的偏僻小城考进了著名的学府NJ大学读书深造。尽管他拥有博士头衔，也创立了自己的公司，但是我们俩经常平等交流，就像他总是教导我那样，我也教会他许多的事情。我们之间的交谈明朗，深厚，没有任何界限，几乎是无话不谈。有的时候，我们的谈话非常激烈，我的妈妈就坐在餐桌旁，默默地注视着我和父亲之间唇枪舌剑如火化四溅。
从父亲那里，我学到了做人的道德，生活的窍门，政治和科学的世界观和价值观，但是，对于宗教信仰我觉得我比他理解得更深。
正如我天上的父（上帝）把他的精神降临到我的身上那样，我希望自己是天父的使者，把他的精神传递到我地上的父亲身上。我的父亲虽然不是基督徒，但是他也相信有个神灵在他的心灵深处。就在最近，我们两人之间有一场谈话，就讲到了上帝，天堂和传福音。虽然他没有直接说出来，但是他很困惑，不知道为何我的妈妈总是鼓励他去认识主耶稣。我简单地回答了他的疑惑：“因为妈妈爱你，她希望永远陪伴在你的身边。”我就是这样理解的。
不管是过去还是现在，我的父亲都是在创造历史。我能感受到他正在做一件有价值的事情。当我回顾过去的生活，还有那些忧郁孤独的夜晚，我开始理解父亲所做的都是正确的，或许他自己都不知道他已经小有成就。他不仅在创业的艰难中证明了“我是谁”的自我价值，同时，他潜移默化地把我放进了上帝的计划之中，即上帝也在为我规划人生。
我的父亲，我的爸爸，他追求着他的梦想，规划着伟大的人生，同时，他也为我以后的人生树立了目标。让我引用我父亲的话：“儿子，你以后会比我成功.相比我和你这样的年龄，你比我更有潜力。”我不知道你是否还记得说过这样的话，爸爸，但是我就是照你的话去那么做的。不远的将来，我将走进大学生活，我会把你的信念作为我的榜样，同时，我也会遵照天父的话去行事：“享受我们的痛苦吧，因为我们知道，这种痛苦会产生毅力，而毅力会产生性格，而性格会产生希望。”
爸爸，我很感谢你带给我的磨练，尽管这听起来有些莫名其妙不合时宜，但是你确实塑造了我的人生，让我至今都感念在心。在明天，六月十七日这一天，我无法带给你特殊的荣耀，那是因为你每天都在我心中得到爱戴。
*** *** ***
Father’s Day
Written by Kevin Chen
Father’s Day is indeed a “Hallmark holiday”: a day for the Hallmark Company and other companies to make profit from a seemingly innocent day of fatherly love. Now Father’s Day is not a bad day, but it should be celebrated every day. Everybody has a father, whether they like it or not. In my case, I liked and still like it.
My father and I grew up together, getting to know each other well, but not well enough. My father went to China to start his own business, to pursue his dreams, when I was still very young. For me, it was hard to take in. At first, I thought it would not be too long and complicated; my father will return permanently in a matter of years, right? Wrong, he is still in China today.
Now I would have been fine with this since he left to the coming future, but issues and family events conjured up feelings for my dad I never knew I could feel before. I truly missed his presence at a time, and needed his fatherly wisdom. It was a tough time for not only me, but my sister and mom.
It was when my sister and I were in middle school, and middle school is a place I would like to leave behind me. I wish my sister thinks the same. The events unrolled almost effortlessly, and I could not stop them. I ran to my father for wisdom, for knowledge, for help. Countless minutes and days wasted over sad and tearful conversations over the phone; I knew it was going to be my battle to fight.
I never really doubted my father’s unique sense of humor and wisdom. He would always speak to his kids as if he were teaching us, albeit sometimes it was uncomfortable for my sister and I and at times mind numbingly boring. But he would always speak with purpose. There were rare times he would say things as if to appeal to his children and show his “young” side to us, as if he had a regretful want to make up for his lost years with his children. I did not know this during the nights over the phone, but now I see that he has the same feelings of loss and affection towards his children as we have had towards him.
My father is very intelligent. Growing up in China, he went to the prestigious Nanjing University from a pool of hundreds of children in the county side of Ha me. And even though he is addressed as doctor and owns his own company, I always have something to teach him as his teaches me. The conversations we’ve had and will have are always bright, thick, and unruly conversations. Sometimes we would become so heated, and my mom would sit with us at lunch, silently watching the sparks fly between my father and me.
I learned a lot of small morals, techniques, and his point of views on politics and science and the world. But religion would be my forte.
As my heavenly Father sends His spirit down on me, I feel as if I am His messenger towards my earthly father. My dad does not look and go through his day as if were religious, but God is always in the back of his mind. Just recently, we had a conversation about God, heaven, and evangelism. He wondered why, although he did not say directly, why my mom keeps trying to get him to know the Lord. I answered simply, “Because she loves you, and wants to spend eternity with you”, not knowing that I would think the same later.
As did my dad make and is still making history, I feel as if he’s doing me justice too. As I look back on my life and the melancholy nights, I feel that he did the right thing, although he did not know what he has done quite well yet. Not only has he set off incredible situations that have shaped who I am, but he has probably single handedly put me in God’s plan for me.
My father, my Dad, did the right thing. He pursued his dreams and is in the process of becoming a great man, but he has also set me up for later success. I quote my father, “You will be more successful than me someday, son. You have so much more potential than I did when I was your age.” I don’t know if you remember yourself saying it, Dad, but that’s how I took it. And as I am about to go to college, and I will look at what you’ve done, Dad, and what my heavenly Father says, " ... rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance produces character, and character produces hope."
Dad, I thank you for the suffering, even though that sounds out of place, but you truly have shaped my life, and I’m enjoying it so far. I won’t give you any special honor tomorrow, June 17, 2010, because every day you deserve that honor.
| 天婴 (2012-06-09 17:15:02) |
|
禁不住落泪，祈祷，感恩，祝福。 |
| 融融 (2012-06-09 19:17:11) |
|
好文，感动！ |
| 木桐白云 (2012-06-09 21:17:04) |
|
能理解父母是成熟的开始。 |
| 海云 (2012-06-10 02:51:30) |
|
读得到孩子的成长！很不容易！ |
| 牧童歌谣 (2012-06-10 03:29:23) |
|
天哪，红花，我哭的稀里哗啦的。 天父的荣耀在Kevin身上显现，这样的爱，这样的接纳，这样的智慧，是来自上帝的恩典。 我相信Kevin爸爸会早晚在这样的感召下信主，神做事有定时，在人不能的，在神万事都能。 Kevin 这样好，这样懂事，知理，智慧，小小年纪，有这样的视角，让人又佩服，又很心疼，心酸。 |
| 天地一弘 (2012-06-10 04:10:11) |
|
常常无言的感悟，这世界有太多的不足，感谢开文发自内心的情感在文字里再现。我想父亲读了，一定也有别样的感动，在神的国里，上帝与爱同在，成长是一份经历，开文，你们的好儿子。 |
| 幸福剧团 (2012-06-10 18:18:05) |
|
当岁月消失掉的时候，感觉到父亲的智慧，鼓励，以及感恩的成长着，好文 |
| 俞静 (2012-06-10 19:12:06) |
|
红花不容易~ |
| 老随 (2012-06-11 10:04:23) |
|
不知道说什么。有些缺憾，是永远无法弥补的；有些错失，是永远无法重逢的。 |
| 呢喃 (2012-06-11 20:07:54) |
|
父爱如山，恩重如山。 |
| Sujuan (2012-06-11 21:11:24) |
|
红花，为您和Kevin, Emily感到骄傲和伤感。我和二个弟弟也是在相似的环境中长大。我父母分居二十多年后才住在一起。我常常嘲笑自己是没有父亲的孩子，特别现在爸爸妈妈与我们同住在San Jose,在我享受与父母在一起的时候，当我的三个孩子与爷爷奶奶嘻笑追逐玩耍中，偶尔我也会囬想自己的童年，特别是当妈妈生病住院爸爸在部队无法回家时，我就是长姐如母，两个平常调皮捣蛋的弟弟一下就变乖了，非常听话。我父母总是说那个时代，夫妻分居实在是太正常了。虽然今天我和弟弟们都各自有自己幸福的家庭，童年时没有父亲在身边的忧虑和过早成熟分担母亲的重担的艰难也偶而会重现心头。当然这种环境造就我和弟弟们坚强独立自主的品格。我们三个家庭都特别珍惜与孩子们在一起的时光。我相信Kevin 和Emily 都会成为坚强能干的孩子，成为好爸爸和好妈妈。愿神保守看顾您们全家和大大赐福Kevin 和Emily!
|
| 红花 (2012-06-13 18:35:41) |
|
谢谢你。 |
| 红花 (2012-06-13 18:36:06) |
|
谢谢海云。 |
| 红花 (2012-06-13 18:38:20) |
|
开文一有机会就向他父亲传福音，可是还需要时间。我们三人都在为他祷告，也为家庭祷告。 在我看来，相信和依靠神，是我们家平安走到今天的基石。 开文是个懂事的孩子，他在主里成长，让我敢于放手。 |
| 红花 (2012-06-13 18:39:48) |
|
父亲的影响，对孩子成长有帮助，这中帮助，让孩子渐渐长大后，明白了许多道理，并且知道自己会做怎样的选择。 |
| 红花 (2012-06-13 18:43:19) |
|
谢谢你。不知为何，读了你的留言我竟然潸然泪下。。。 神说，万事互相效力。爸爸海归，给孩子造成心灵的伤痛。但是，确如你说，也锻炼了独立的品格。他们比同年龄孩子早熟。 让我欣慰的是，当他们渐渐长大之后，他们会对这样的事情做出自己的价值观判断。感谢神，他们都行走在当行的道路上。 |
| Sujuan (2012-06-13 23:07:39) |
|
红花，人生有时实在是说不清。家庭完美的，孩子们天天开心，根本不知何为痛苦伤心。我曾问我的十五岁的儿子，什么事会让他sad，他说nothing 。他还说"my life is perfect". 12 岁的女儿则说学习中文让她伤心。三岁的小妹妹更不可能有什么伤心事。全家都哄着她。姐姐气起来就说妹妹以后很麻烦的，因为她没有discipline. 感谢神把我们带到教会。让我们有机会送孩子去短宣，去体验那些在艰苦环境长大的孩子们的生活。儿子去印第安人保护区短宣囬来就对我说，妈妈我现在才懂得什么叫感恩。在保护区，手纸很缺，卫生也不好，苍蝇乱飞，我的胃受到极大的挑战。开始不想吃东西。但后来饿了，就什么也不怕了。我的消化道就跟保护区的孩子一样了。 生活没有绝对的完美。Kevin and Emily的爸爸是去创业的。只要您们一家相亲相爱，彼此鼓励挂念，珍惜在一起的光阴，一样是完美幸福之家。现在的通讯方便，与我们童年时光是无法比拟的，所以距离不应该成为家庭 bonding 问题。请您和您先生多多保重，也为 Kevin and Emily 祷告，求爱我们的神保守看顾，让他们一生一世都走在神所喜悦的道上，做主荣耀的器皿。
素娟 |
| 百草园 (2012-06-23 23:02:06) |
|
才读到，为孩子心里所想到的和感受到的感动，海归，事业，亲情，得与失，矛盾。顶Kevin的好文。 |
| 红花 (2012-06-23 23:52:51) |
|
谢谢。孩子在没有父亲陪伴下，但是有天父陪伴下，成长的故事。。 |
