2010年冬
从迎来第一场雪的兴奋到今年不寻常的过于频繁落雪的埋怨 ，同事们因为知道我从加州搬来不久，常和我开玩笑怎么没把加州阳光带来？
一场雪接一场雪，隔壁办公室的同事给我寄来下面的故事，我读完哈哈大笑， 翻成中文如下：
搬去新泽西
八月十五号：
搬到新泽西。哇， 如此美丽！北望湖水，如此壮观！等不及看到湖面被白雪覆盖的样子，我会爱上这里。
十月十四号
泽西毫无疑义是世界是最美的地方。树上的树叶开始变得红橘相间。在公园里漫步时看见几只优雅的鹿，它们真是这个地球上最奇妙的动物。这里像个天堂，我爱死了这里！
十一月十号
猎鹿的季节就要开始了。我难以想象竟然有人会射杀这种高贵的动物。我希望早点儿下雪。我热爱这片土地。
那些红红黄黄的落叶已经像一块杂色的地毯铺在我家的后院。美丽极了！清理院子成了在清新凉爽的的空气中锻炼身体的机会。
十一月十五号
啊，更多的落叶，更多的运动和锻炼。
十一月十八号
我的上帝啊！怎么还有这么多树叶啊！还是等到他们全落完再清理吧。
十一月二十五号
终于等到这一天树上所有的叶子都落了下来。今天终于清理完毕。
我的脊椎科医生建议我明年最好请一位花园工。 我手上有四个水泡感染了，唉，也许应该记着戴手套。
十一月三十号
真TMD的见鬼了！这许多树叶从哪里来的？昨晚只不过刮了点小风，今天草坪就被它们覆盖了。哦，让它们（树叶）呆在那儿到明年春天吧。
十二月十三号
昨晚终于下雪了！当我醒来时发现整个世界披上一层白色的毯子。窗外的风景像一张明信片。我们出去铲雪清理了走道和车道还打了雪仗。 铲雪车过来了，大概我们还得把车道的尽头的余雪再铲一次。
多美的地方啊！我爱泽西！
十二月十四号
昨晚又下雪了！我好开心哦！铲雪车又把积雪弄到我们的车道上了。
但是，我还是很喜欢这里。
十二月十八号
昨晚又下雪了！车道上都是雪，我出不去了，无法去上班。
我厌倦了铲雪。去TMD的铲雪车。
十二月二十二号
昨晚又TMD下雪了！好像又回到与落叶奋战那样，我的双手如今到处都是铲雪铲出来的水泡。我总是忘了戴手套。我想那个见鬼的铲雪车就躲在我家附近的某个角落，一等到我把车道的雪铲完，他就出现了！真 TNND!
十二月二十五号
圣诞快乐！
更多该死的雪！如果那个开铲雪车的人落在我的手里，我发誓我一定宰了那个婊子养得他！
真搞不懂他们为什么不多撒点盐把那路上的鬼雪融化了。
十二月二十七号
昨晚又TMD下雪了！除了铲车道上的雪几乎足不出户。手套铲雪都铲湿了，我的手长了冻疮。医生说还好不严重，很快就会好的。我们根本出不了家门，车子都陷在雪里。天气预报说今晚还要降大约十英寸的雪，你知道十英寸的雪要铲多少雪锹吗？
十二月二十八号
那个鬼天气预报根本不准！雪下了34英寸！照这样下去，积雪大概要到夏天才能全部消融。铲雪车被困在路当中了，那个龟儿子竟然问我借雪锹。我告诉他我已经因为铲雪损坏了六把雪锹，谁知这最后一把也毁在他的手里！
一月四号
今天终以可以走出家门了！去商店里买了一些食物，却在回家的路上，我的车被一头鹿迎头撞上。 三千美金的损失！这该死的鹿！真希望它们十一月份猎鹿的季节中全部被猎人杀光！
五月三号
把车开的修理行。车子被一个冬天路上撒的鬼盐腐蚀得面目全非千疮百孔。
五月十号
搬去弗罗里达的村落。我不能想象任何精神正常的人要住在这被老天都遗弃的新泽西！
读完上面的文字，我乐不可支，我的美国同事问我有没有同感，我说对于秋天的美丽和落叶的折磨，还真是感同身受，今天的冬雪尤其得多，我倒没有文章的作者反映那么强烈，从不敢在雪地里开车到无所畏惧，我也经历了许多“惊险”的体验！不过我问这位在新泽西住了一辈子的美国人，他怎么看，为什么还住在这里？他说他生在此长在此，早已习惯！这里是他的家！他问我有一天会不会像文章的作者搬到弗罗里达去？我哈哈大笑回答：“要搬，我也不去弗州！那里的飓风太多吓人！我还是回我的加州去！”同事也哈哈一笑说：“加州整天地震，我也怕怕！”嘿嘿，真可谓萝卜青菜，各有所爱吧！
Moved to New Jersey
August 15
- Moved to a new home in Jersey . It's so beautiful here.
The lake to the north looks so majestic.
I can hardly wait to see it snow covered.
I'm going to love it here.
October 14
I Jersey is definitely the most beautiful place on earth.
The leaves have turned all the colors and shades of red and orange.
Went for a ride through the park and saw some deer. They are so
graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth.
This must be paradise, I LOVE IT HERE.
November 10
Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous animal,
hope it will snow soon. I love it here.
Those red and orange leaves have covered my yard. Looks like a magnificent
multi-colored carpet. HOW BEAUTIFUL. Raking and cleaning up the yard will
be an opportunity for invigorating exercise in the cool crisp air.
November 15 -
Ah, more leaves and more exercise.
November 18 -
Jesus, still more leaves. Guess it's best to wait until they've all fallen before I rake again.
November 25 -
Finally, all of the trees lost their leaves and today's final raking it's over for this season.
Chiropractor suggested I use a lawn maintenance service next year.
Only four blisters became infected. Should probably remember to use gloves.
November 30 -
What the f--k? Where did all of those leaves come from?
A little wind last night and the lawn is covered again.
Oh well, they'll just have to wait until spring.
December 12 -
It snowed last night, FINALLY. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looks like a postcard.
We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. Had a snowball
fight (I won) and when the snowplow came by and we had to shovel the end of the driveway again.
What a beautiful place. I Love Jersey
December 14 -
More snow last night, I love it. The snowplow did his trick to the driveway again.
I Love it here.
December 19 -
More snow again last night. Can't get out of the driveway to get to work.
I'm exhausted from shoveling. F---ing snowplow.
December 22 -
More of that white sh-t fell again last night. As if dealing with the leaves weren't bad enough, now I've got blisters
all over my hands from shoveling, must remember to wear gloves. I think the snowplow hides around the corner
and waits until I'm finished shoveling the driveway. The a--hole.
December 25 -
Merry Christmas.
More frigging snow. If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives the snowplow.
I swear I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the f---ing ice.
December 27 -
More white sh-t last night. Have been inside for three days except for shoveling out the driveway
after that plow goes through every time.
F---ing gloves got wet and then froze on my hands. Doctor said it was just a mild case of frostbite, disfiguration
is probably only temporary. Can't go anywhere, car is stuck in a mountain of white sh-t. The weatherman says to
expect another 10 inches of the sh-t tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is?
December 28 -
The f---ing weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of that white sh-t. At this rate it won't melt 'till summer.
The plow got stuck up the road and the bastard came to the door and asked to borrow a shovel. After I told him
I'd already broken six of them shoveling all the sh-t he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one on his f---ing head.
January 4 -
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back I hit a damned
deer that ran in front of my car.
Did about $3000 damage. F---ing beast should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.
May 3 -
Took the car to the garage in town. The thing is rusting out from all the f---ing salt they put all over the roads.
May 10 -
Moved to The Villages in Florida .
I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever live in that God-forsaken state of New Jersey
| 木桐白云 (2012-03-04 02:09:29) |
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呵呵，一方水土养一方的人，我们总在理想与现实之间徘徊。 |
| henrysong (2012-03-04 02:12:59) |
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哈哈哈！ 哪里都有不尽人意的地方啊。 |
| 仲夏百合 (2012-03-04 03:43:48) |
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一月四号到五月三号之间， 没任何举动， 看来只能在家里“猫冬”了。 |
| 牧童歌谣 (2012-03-04 03:58:27) |
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哈哈！对付个新泽西就骂娘，哪天让他试试俺们博士屯儿（Boston），保证啥抱怨都没了！ |
| 百草园 (2012-03-04 04:02:18) |
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雪下太多是要骂人了。今年例外威州的雪不多。 |
| 牧童歌谣 (2012-03-04 04:07:20) |
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百草和百合姐那Wisconsin更吓人！ 我在Minnesota上过四年学，跟你们紧邻，算是领教了！ |
| 面条儿 (2012-03-04 14:52:10) |
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一下雪， 下班天黑黑， 就想得搬离这鬼地方。 可是春天一来， 惨红愁绿， 又站这儿不走了。 也算年复一年， 呵呵。 |
| 予微 (2012-03-04 16:35:18) |
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哈哈，我就一直赖在南加州，连三藩市都不肯搬去！ 有时跟朋友打电话，只要他们一说现在零下多少度，早上要铲雪才上班，我即使晒着暖暖的春阳，骨子里立即冷嗖嗖。 |
| 海云 (2012-03-04 22:10:08) |
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哈，真改名儿啦？你可真行！ |
| 林玫phoenix (2012-03-04 22:52:50) |
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车被冬雪和盐搞得伤痕累累吧？寒心了吧？有机会还是回加州吧？我一想起冬天的雪和刺骨寒风我的骨头就咯吱咯吱地响------ |
| 海云 (2012-03-04 23:23:03) |
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最寒心就是你连我的电话都不要听。：（ |
| 面条儿 (2012-03-05 00:42:48) |
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这回行了吧？ 软软细细的。。。 |
| 林玫phoenix (2012-03-05 18:02:40) |
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咱们还是保持一点神秘的好玩，一通电话就直白了，无趣得很了，那个寒心你要用南京土话讲(Hen sin!) |
| henrysong (2012-03-06 07:23:46) |
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说起天寒地冻，再冷也不会超过我曾经上学的地方了，一年大半年的冬天，号称只有两个季节：Winter and July. windchill 能到零下60F的！在那里两年，快把人逼疯了。 |
