一个多月前，在实践群里，一位家长提到孩子在学校因为是华裔受到欺负的事情，大家都鼓励这位家长写信给学校反映情况。她写信描述了情况并提出了要求，我找一位美国校长帮她修改后，她发给了儿子的学校，学校很重视。上周，又有一位妈妈反映孩子在学校受到欺负，大家献计献策，鼓励她给学校写信，我也把上次的信隐去个人信息后给她参考。最近，很多家长在实践群看到信息后，私信给我要给校长信的模版，我确实不方便一个个发，隐去个人信息或采用化名后公开一下，也发到其他群里，希望能够帮到更多家长。华裔家长团结互帮互助，总是让人很感动的。
中国人普遍比较谦让，但是谦让不代表忍让。在孩子受到欺负时，一定要大胆及时地向学校反映。下边是两封家长给校长和老师的信，供大家参考。
Dear Mr. /Ms. (insert principal's Last Name),
Thank you so much for your phone call today.
Your swift actions and the professionalism of your staff made me believe that my child is in the right hands.
Xx and XX have been harassing Mark for sometime on the bus and in the bus room. They Mark’s things without asking. In the hallway, they called Walter names such as "dumb", "stupid", sometimes "the little Chinese agent". These comments caused Mark to withdraw and become distressed. Soon afterward, the other kids on the bus started telling stereotypical jokes about Chinese. Their comments are creating an atmosphere where being a Chinese is a bad thing. Then, on Friday when they told Mark "No one likes you, because you are Chinese”, that really crossed the line. Comments such as “dumb” or “stupid” are clearly indicative of bullying, but comments that are undoubtedly racial slurs are discriminatory and have no place in an inclusive educational setting.
On Monday, I sent a letter to Ms. XX, Mark’s homeroom teacher, to notify her of the incident. However, she was absent that day and she eventually saw the letter on Tuesday. On the same day after school, I accompanied her son’s name to see Ms XX, the counselor. She was very attentive and understanding. She took down the details of the events occurring to date, and I believed she went to speak with you right after our meeting.
I was very happy to receive your call today.
However, could you please let me know in writing the following by the close of business on Friday:
(1) What actions you have taken to rectify the situation;
(2) What preventive measures you will take to ensure that the bullying comments and behavior by XXX and XXX will not reoccur; and
(3) What you will do to address the racial comments directed toward my son.
In the end, I believe XXX and XXX are two students that need guidance and instruction on what is and is not appropriate. I believe the most important issue is what the students, including my own son, can learn from this experience and use the lessons learned to guide their behavior in the future. Since so many students have witnessed the multiple situations, I suspect that these events have impacted more than just the students directly involved and have had broader reaching consequences. It is especially hurtful when one makes derogatory comments based on race because this is not something a child can control. And, again, I suspect that these are not isolated incidents where comments regarding race have been made. With a large number of Asian students in the school, race must certainly be a salient issue and, as a parent in the school, I desire to raise the level of understand regarding this issue.
Sincerely,
XXX (Mark's mom)
Dear Ms. R,
Good morning! We are Z and N, M’s parents. This past Friday night (April 17th), M told us one thing that happened in the school’s cafeteria, which we would like to bring to your attention.
On Thursday morning (April 16th) between 7:50-8:00 am in the school’s cafeteria M was lining up for his class. During this time a few second grade boys (probably three or four) sitting on the table next to M, pointed to him and said “Woo, Chinese; Woo, Chinese”. M was upset and uncomfortable, but chose to ignore them and did not report to the teacher on site. He told us that their voices were unpleasant.
The same thing happened again the next morning at the same time and the same place. We feel we have to take it seriously as it’s not a random incident. We think it is a bullying comment and M’s feelings are hurt. When he was telling us the story Friday night, he asked us very seriously with tears in his eyes, “Martin Luther King said that no one can be judged by their appearance, right?”
We’re not sure if any teachers or other students saw this happening. We understand that these second grade boys are still young kids. They may not realize what they did is inappropriate.
M has been extremely happy with his experience at XX. We do not want to see his life at XX distracted by what happened last week.
Thank you so much for your time. We‘d love to meet with you in person to discuss at a convenient time. Please let us know when that convenient time could be and we will make arrangements to be there.
Sincerely,
M’s parents Z and N
以下是家长的反馈结果：“儿子的homeroom teacher看到后，立即把信转给了校长。校长和儿子谈了话，又让那四个小朋友分别向儿子当面和书面道歉。校长当天下午就给我打了电话通告他们如何处置和对待此事，并向家长道歉。
校长说学校每天都有这方面的教育，但是毕竟年龄小，有时候意识不到自己的行为会伤害别人，我们对此也表示理解。
老师还表扬了儿子，说他很勇敢，speak out。儿子很开心，也理解那几个孩子做的不对，但也不是故意为之。他原谅并且hug了他们。”