Susan著 小哭译
“安妮”这个音乐舞台剧曾经是我生命中持续了四个月之久的、最重要也是最持久的一件事儿。在四个月的时间里，我每天课后都花几个小时的时间参加“安妮”的排练。我要复印资料、做笔记、排位、画标志牌、以及完成大把做为副导演要做的其它杂事儿。它曾是我生命中最了不起的经历之一。我交到了新朋友，了解了我以前所从不知道的同学们的事情，遇到了四个极棒的导演老师，还找到了一个神奇的“安妮”演员与剧组大家庭。我很高兴自己做了这件事儿。
在“安妮”剧之前，我在独幕剧中当过副导演，我的戏剧课老师推荐我在“安妮”中也当副导演。我以为这次也会是像在独幕剧中似的，导演老师挑选自己的副导演。因为C老师喜欢我，我相当地确信自己能够当选。然而，在那个信息发布会上，我发现这并非易事儿。有七个人想当副导演，所以我们每个人必须得给导演们写一封信去解释为什么我们认为自己是最好的副导演。我并不认为自己是最好的副导演人选，但是我真的想得到这份工作，所以我努力地去思考C老师喜欢我的原因并由此展开说明。我认为自己的自荐信相当地好，所以当把信交给导演时我相当地自信。
后来，C老师让我去试音，以便可以在剧中扮演一个角色，而这“只是以防万一”我没有被选上当副导演。从那时起我开始紧张起来。我不只是紧张于她的建议意味着当上副导演的可能性，我也为试音紧张。因为这是一个音乐舞台剧，试音意味着唱歌，我不知道怎么去唱。然而，我不想让C老师对我失望，不想她发现我甘愿退出的理由仅仅是因为“不知所措”，所以我决定不管怎么样也要去试音。猜猜怎么样？结果并不像我以为的那么糟。她说我唱得相当不错，希望我加入她在下个学期授课的合唱班。然而，就算是我喜欢这一新发掘出来的唱歌天赋，得到副导演一职带给我的欢喜与高兴一点也不差。
我们从只是与几个主角（六个主角儿）一起排练开始， 那种感觉就像是独幕剧排练那会儿！音乐舞台剧中被选上的主角儿几乎都是我们在独幕剧中的演员；我们使用和独幕剧那会儿同样的房间排练；而我也做着和独幕剧那会儿同样的角色。唯一的不同是其它两个副导演和我要花上三个小时的时间在放学后复印剧本并分发。
接下来，我们开始进行大规模的排练。刚开始的时候我并不喜欢。小规模排练期间，我和认识的人在一起，所以感觉上大家像是一家人；大规模的排练感觉很奇怪，到处都是陌生的脸孔和陌生的人。大概有六十多人，也许更多，跑来跑去地。这和独幕剧时一点都不一样，我不知道自己是否会喜欢这种改变。
学校似乎突然间就出现了霉菌，我们必须得撤离。而在撤离之前，我们基本上还没有开始进行大规模的排练。看起来我们在一段时间内回不了学校了，但我们也得设法排练。我们曾经在社区中心练过几次，也在CHMS(隔壁学校)练过几次。虽然来来回回地去不同的地方排练有着诸多不便，但是我们还是练了。实际上在这段时间内我们搞定了很多事情，完成了多数歌曲的舞台舞蹈设计，导演们非常地为我们自豪。
当回到HMS上学后，我们开始每天在课后排练三到四个小时，而不是通常的一个半小时了。我们失去了十天的排练时间，而表演在三周后就要上演！此时的我们甚至还没有最后排练完。在进行这些排练的过程中，我画了几个表演中要用到的道具牌，终于赢得了T老师的喜爱。以前，感觉上他似乎不认为我是一个好的副导演，但是在画完那些招牌后，他对我比以前热情。
经历了整个霉菌事件后，演员中间发生了一些变化。我们之间开始形成了一股凝聚力，特别是在我和表演仆人的演员之间（演员被分成两组——孤儿和仆人）。我负责表演仆人的演员们的出席情况。每天排练开始，他们要到我这里来报到。刚开始，这事儿有点尴尬并且如例行公事般地，他们只是告诉我名字，我则点点头，然后他们就离开了。在日复一日地重复着这件事后，我逐渐地记住了他们的名字、开始了解他们并且和他们说话。很快地，点名变成了一件友好并舒服的事情。“安妮”结束后，有一个家伙（他真的很棒，“安妮”中我最喜欢的人之一）每次在学校看到我都会冲我喊“Susan，我到了！”
通过点名、帮助导演、一周和同一组人呆在一起二十个小时，我成为了“安妮”大家庭中的一员，并最终找到了自己在其中的位置。虽然有几次我觉得排练很无聊，但却再也不是陌生与奇怪了。多数时候，我盼望着排练。那是一个没有什么事儿让我担忧的地方；那是一个让我觉得自己被熟悉的面孔包围着的地方；那是我觉得自己被人需要着的地方。
最后，演出基本上就绪了。我们把整个的表演都过了一遍，即使导演不得不每几分钟就叫停一次去改变舞台场面设计（动作姿势）或者给出一个建议，我们还是成功地将表演从头到尾地过完了。那花费了我们两天的时间。一周后，我们成功地用一天就过完了一遍，导演几乎是每十分钟左右就要打断我们一次。如果表演的最后期限不是在一周之内就要到了的话，那真的是一个伟大的成就。我们还有五次不到的排练去把每件事儿都搞好。我不知道要如何才能完成这事儿，特别是在倒数第二次排练的时候。即使那次导演没有叫停，但表演中存在着一些错误。在场景切换时，W老师大声责备我们要大声点儿。我开始为首演夜担忧起来。
首演夜前一晚是彩排。简直太棒了！我不相信他们就是前一个晚上舞台上的那一群人。演出服实在是太重要了。服装不仅增加了表演的可信度，似乎还提升了演员们的自信心。歌曲唱得更有活力了，舞台剧组这时也正常起来了，每一件事儿都很完美。我已经为首演夜彻底准备好了。
然后，首演夜来临了……
【小哭介绍背景】 这个系列三篇小文终于完成了！这个小系列不仅仅是一次简单的记录，也是我和Susan又一次探讨如何进行写作规划的一次实践。历时四个月的活动，对于处在表演与聚会后的激动期中的Susan来说，写作颇为困难。想写的内容太多，一篇文章怎么着也写不完，写不完又令她无法接受。她就是没想到，其实可以写成一个系列，分成几篇文章来写。有的时候，提醒的话只是一句，可是却很重要。当我和她讨论了不到十分钟，关于总共写几篇文章，每篇文章的主题是什么，有几个主要内容一定要包括进去后，她的心情顿时就开朗起来了。之前刚一说要写音乐舞台剧的作文，她就表现得极度抓狂，烦燥与纠结中的她五官都挪位了：（最后她说不是不想写，其实是非常地想写，可就是不知道如何写才是好。想想虽然我英文远不如她，写作水平也不比她强多少，可是我至今还能够在关键的时刻给她一些建议，就觉得自己对她的作用还没有完全退化到仅仅在后勤这一方面。
她文中说的七个副导演竞选人，我以前的文章中有记录，当时她说的是五人，到底几人其实也并不重要。她说的每天放学后的排练时间，其实也不准确，刚开始时并不是每天都排练，一周排练两三次的频率吧。后来因为今年冬天的恶劣天气以及他们学校的霉菌事件，导致孩子们很多天没有上学，排练也给耽误了。而最后的演出计划又不能改变，所以导演老师们急了，开始四处借场地排练，并在最后学校重新开门后，每天都加班加点地训练。
Susan自从进入八年级，就整天喊作业多， 反正她的生活被作业绑架了。我并不认为对于每一个同学都是这样的，我认为是Susan个人的问题，她不善长安排时间，又过于在意作业的分数，所以在作业上面花费的时间非常地不合理。但是，这不是我能轻易改变的。所以当她准备参加“安妮”剧的面试时，我在下发的一大堆文件中，看到了老师的提醒与要求，就是要判断孩子是否会因为排练影响学习。这一判断不仅仅有家长的角度，还有各科任课老师的角度。我严肃地与Susan谈了一次，她说她认为以前老是说作业多其实是一种借口，真正的原因不是作业多，而是她写作业不专注。为了安妮，她愿意有意地提高效率。我其实并不相信她能够快速改变，但是我相信她这次会有一个动力去尝试着改变。我知道“安妮”一定会带给她混乱，但是也一定会带给她改变，于是我签字了。不过我有言在先，如果因为“安妮”写不完作业或是影响正常的学习与生活，就必须退出剧组，她也答应了。
在这四个月的时间里，还是有几次她因着忘记这忘记那最后作业没有写完，不过她都通过晚上晚睡觉或者早晨早起来搞定了。看到她第二天明显地精力不够，我的内心其实相当地纠结。原则都懂，大道理都明白，可是我是否真的明白自己的孩子？给她压下来的这些对她是恰当的？还是过度了？没人在当时能够告诉我答案，就算是告诉我，我也不会相信！我自己心揪揪着静观事态进展。慢慢地，排练的时间越来越长，她开始学会了在排练中写作业了。这一点是我非常喜欢的，因为Susan的个性很难去做“一心两用”的事情，让她同时处理多任务，就只能看着她搞砸所有的任务。可是这次她必须得同时进行多任务处理，她把自己逼上了这样的一个状态中了，似乎也可以了。
二月份情人节期间，她参加了橡树园的一个冬令营，回来后心情大坏，号啕大哭了几天，哭哭泣泣地一整周，那一周，学业上的成绩下滑是明显的。不是这科没写作业，就是那科没复习，非常少见的不及格及六七十分，成了那一周的常态。我控制住不满意，不断地告诉自己这个状态和“安妮”的排练没有直接的关系，主要的问题出自于橡树园的冬令营，更深层次的问题来自于那个青少年组。不是那个小组不好，是Susan自己已经不适合呆在里面了。于是在坚定了带Susan从橡树园教会退出的同时，我开始加紧动作，让Susan顺利并及时地加入了家门口C教会的技术团队，参与崇拜时舞台上灯光与声响方面的控制。结果Susan一下子就爱上了C教会 ，说是技术团队让她找到了当初在摩顿电视台时的感觉。另外我还帮她找到了一份在周六教小孩子中文的工作来分散她的注意力。很快地她就从那种颓废的状态中恢复了，并将心思投入到了“安妮”的排练中。事实上，如果没有“安妮”，她可能需要更多的时间才能从冬令营的影响中恢复过来。对于这件事儿，我也为自己鼓个掌，因为脾气急躁的我，没有在Susan的眼泪中将这一不良状态迁怒于“安妮”的排练，而那，其实于我是很有可能的。
关于大、小规模的排练带给Susan的不同感受，她在平时与我的交流中从未提过。所以在她的文章中读到这些，我很是感动于“安妮”带给她的改变，特别是读到那句“Susan，我到了！”，我的鼻子有点发酸，高兴的：）我能够感同身受地体会到那句话带给Susan内心的快乐。我们观看表演的那夜，表演结束后，我拉着Susan去和她画的几个道具牌合影，结果有三个七年级的男生冲进了镜头，把Susan挤在中间要我给他们照合影。那一刻，我的眼睛也是湿的，因为我从他们对Susan的态度中能够感受到Susan内心的快乐。这些，是我这个妈妈一直盼望着的。
读她的这篇文章，我印象深刻的一个部分，是她对自己属于一个集体的那种感觉——没有融入时、融入时、融入后，她对自己不同的心理状态的描写，都非常地打动我。也许，只是因为我是她的妈妈吧，才会那么留意她在文中所表现出来的一丝丝不安的情绪吧。
正如她文中所说，通过“安妮”，她见识到了导演老师们的水平、学会了与另外两个副导演配合、和主要演员及配角演员们都熟悉了起来，最后收获了一个“安妮”大家庭！她说这四个月的经历让她非常地难忘，其实，这四个月的经历也让我非常地难忘！每次排练都意味着搭不上校车，我必须得放弃健身的计划去按她，难得的一次撞车也发生在学校出现霉菌期间、我去社区中心接她回家的路上！
按时间顺序倒着写的三篇系列小文至此就结束了。谢谢大家的阅读，也真心地希望读者们能够喜欢。接下来可能会发表几篇Susan的书评和大作业。在Susan眼里可能写什么都差不多，她判断不了读者会对什么内容的文章更感兴趣儿。如果有读者能够给她一些具体的建议，将会对她的写作选题有所帮助，希望Susan目前的读者群能够给她以具体的支持！谢谢了！！！另，她刚才说，回头看自己从前的文章，最喜欢读的也是那种篇幅不是很长、有具体的内容还同时有想法的那类。而那些罗里罗嗦的文章，她也不爱读：）
附上英文原文：
Annie The Musical-Rehearsals
Annie the Musical had been one of the most important and time-consuming thing in my life for four months. For four months, I had spent hours every day after school, attending Annie practices. I copied papers, took notes, called places, painted signs, and did a bunch of other things as Assistant Director. It had been one of the greatest experience in my life. I made new friends, learned things about my classmates that I never knew before, met four wonderful directors, and found an amazing family in the cast and crew of Annie. I am so glad I did it.
Before Annie, I was involved in the 1-Act plays as an Assistant Director (AD), and my drama teacher recommended I AD for Annie also. I thought that, like in the 1-Acts, the directors would just pick the ADs. Since Mrs.C--- liked me, I was pretty sure I would get picked. However, I found out during the informational meeting that it wasn’t that easy. There were around seven people who wanted to be AD, so we each have to write a letter to the directors explaining why we thought we would make the best Assistant Director. I didn’t think I would be the best person for the role of AD, but I really wanted the job, so I tried to think of reasons why Mrs.C--- liked me and went on from their. I think I did a pretty good job with the letter, and I was pretty confident when I handed it in to one of the directors.
Then Mrs.C--- asked me to audition for the play for an acting role, “just in case” I didn’t get picked as AD. That was when I got nervous. Not only was I nervous about what her suggestion meant for my possible role as AD, I was also nervous about auditioning. Since it was a musical, auditioning meant singing. And I didn’t know how to sing. However, since I didn’t want Mrs.C--- to think that I back down from things just because they might be embarassing, I decided to audition anyway. And guess what? It wasn’t as bad as I though. She said I actually sounded really good, and wanted me to join her chorus class next semester. As much as I like my newfound talent in singing, though, I was still very glad when I got the role of Assistant Director.
We started out by rehearsing scenes with just the leads (the main six characters), and it felt just like the 1-Acts! The people who got picked as the leads for the musical were mostly the same people who were in the 1-Acts, we used the same room for rehearsals, and I did the same work as I did in the 1-Acts.. The only different thing the other two ADs and I did was spend three hours after school to copy scripts to hand out people.
Then, we started rehearsing for the big numbers. At first, I didn’t like it. During the small rehearsals, I was with people I already knew, so it felt more like family. The big rehearsals felt alien, full of strange faces and strange people. There were sixty-something people, maybe more, rushing about. It was completely different from the 1-Acts, and I didn’t know if I would like the change.
We had barely began practices for our big musical numbers when we had to evacuate our school, HMS, due to mold problems. It seemed like we would not be getting back for a while, but we still had rehearsals. We had a few at the Community House, and at few at CHMS (a neighboring school). It was hard driving to the different locations and driving back, but we managed it, and we actually got a lot done during that time. We finished the choreography for most of the songs. The directors were really proud of us.
When we went back to HMS we started having rehearsals for 3-4 hours after school instead of the usual 1 1/2. We had missed ten days of practice, and the show was opening in three weeks! We were not even close to finishing. During those rehearsals, painted a few signs to use as props during the show, and I think I finally made Mr.T--- like me. Before, it felt like he didn’t think I would be a good AD, but after I painted the signs, he was warmer towards me.
After the whole mold experience, something was different within the cast. There was a bond that was starting to form between us, expecially between me and the servants cast (the cast was split into two groups-orphans and servants). I was in charge of taking attendance of the servants cast. Every day, at the beginnning of rehearsal, they would come to me and report their attendance. At first, it was awkward and formal, they would just tell me their name, I would nod, and they would leave. As I repeated this day after day, I started remembering their names. I got them know them and talk to them. Pretty soon, taking attendance became a friendly, comfortable thing. After Annie ended, there’s still this guy (he’s awesome, one of my favorite people in Annie) who says “Susan, I’m here!” every time we see each other at school.
Through taking attendance, helping the directors, and just being around the same group of people twenty hours a week, I became part of the big Annie family. I finally found my place there. Although their were a few times that I thought rehearsal was boring, it no longer felt strange and alien. Most of the time, I was looking forward to the rehearsals. It was a place where no worries could bother me, where I felt like I was surrounded by familiar faces, a place where I felt like I was needed.
Finally, the show began to come together. We ran through the whole thing, and even though the director had to pause us every few minutes to change the blocking (movement) or to make a suggestion, we managed to go through the whole show from beginning to end. That took us two days. A week later, we managed to get it down to one day, with the directors interupting every ten minutes or so. That would’ve been a great accomplishment, if the deadline for the show had not been less than a week away. We had less than five more rehearsals to perfect everything. I didn’t know how we were going to pull it off, especially when at the second-to-last practice. Even though the directors didn’t interupt that time, there were still some slip-ups, and during the transitions Ms.W--- screamed at us to be louder. I was worried for opening night.
The night before the opening was the dress rehearsal. And it was amazing. I could not believe those were the same people who were on that stage the night before. The costumes made all the difference in the world. It added believability, and seemed to boost the actors’ confidences. The songs were more energetic, the stage crew came right on cue, everything was perfect. I was completely ready for opening night.
And then opening night came.