Susan著 小哭译
我没有办法把它说得更好了。我在说什么？在说岶特丽夏.J.墨菲写的“困难的话题——搬家”这本书。如果让我给即将搬家的人提些忠告的话，我会说出和这本书一模一样的话来。相对说来它是比较简单的一本书，只有三十页，每页还配有大图，图下仅仅有两、三个短句。但是它切中要点，包含了搬家时从头到尾将要经历的每一件事儿。
现在，我不是在谈运动或奔跑时的那个“移动”（译者注：“搬家”和“移动”在英文里是同一个词儿）。我说的“搬家”，指的是离开一个你已经住了一阵子的地方，去到一个新的地方重新住下来。搬家这事儿，从头到尾是一件长且复杂的过程，但是有了这本书，你就不会再觉得它很复杂了。我是很认真地，到目前为止，关于搬家，这本书是我所读过的最好的一本。它包括了所有的事情，从头到尾没有一点点的重复和浪费。每一句话都是一条建议或信息，如果把所有的句子放在一起，你就会得到一本关于搬家的简单又有效的手册。
让我们从头开始：目录。如这本书的其它部分一样，它的目录页信息量很大却又非常简单。作者给每个不同部分所起的名称也直奔主题：搬家、人们为什么要搬家、人们怎么搬家、准备好搬家、告别、保持联系……等等，以及一路去交新的朋友和感觉自在。只是瞟一眼目录，你就能知道这本书非常周全，而且只朝书里看一眼，你就会知道这本书也非常容易读。
我真是非常非常地喜欢这本书。关于搬家（通常的搬家，不是我的个人经历），我想说的所有事儿这本书里都有。书里的每一个句子都让我产生共鸣。它绝对包括了从头到尾所有的事儿，并且用了非常简单的句子来解释。对于以前没有搬过家的人来讲，他们会在这本书里找到许多显而易见的事情，象“当你打包时，给你的箱子贴上标签，这样你就能知道里面有什么”。或者，找到一些令人困惑的怪事儿，比如“搬家令人很激动，但是它也让人觉得很可怕”。不过，因为我搬过很多次家（比如，在过去的五年里就有四次较大的搬家），我能完全地理解书中所说的每一件事。
这本书我最喜欢的一部分是关于搬家时的那种复杂心情。它说搬家会让人很激动，因为你会很高兴去到一个新的地方。那也是我每次搬家时的感觉！很多人不能理解这部分。我所有的朋友们都以为我在离开他们的时候会非常地伤心，以为我会很讨厌搬家。是的，当我离开他们的时候，我确实会很伤心，但是也有到一个新地方去冒险、认识新的人的那种激动的情绪在里面。很多人不理解这个，但是这本书对复杂心情一事谈了四、五次！这使我感觉好多了，并且这也让我消除了一个疑虑，是否自己是一个很怪异的人。
这本书让我很有共鸣感的另一个地方是拆包。书上说“当你找到地方安放自己的东西时，拆包可能是一件很快乐的事情”。那正是我把每一件东西都摆放好时的心情。当我找到一个地方把一件东西放进去后，如果看起来又漂亮又易取，我就会觉得极其地快乐！我觉得很自豪很充实，我自己也奇怪于自己竟然会为着这么一件小小的事情而如此地开心。
书中还有一句我相当喜欢的话，虽然这话显得有点平淡：“当找不到所需的东西时你也会很生气”。那确实相当地令人沮丧，当你觉得几分钟后就需要用到某个东西，而你认为你知道它在哪可是最后却发现根本不在那里时。例如：有一次，我需要女童子军的肩带。事先我没有花点力气去找出来，结果在我马上就要用的时候，我突然间意识到：“噢…….再等一秒……它不在我衣橱里的皮箱底下……这个衣橱没有皮箱……那曾是我的旧家。”如此地令人烦恼！甚至让你更烦恼的是，当你把所有的东西都打包了之后，看起来似乎已经非常地完美了、所有的东西都是这么正正好的时候，然后，家长给你看还有另外的一箱杂物（顺便说说，那都是没用的东西），而你早就将它忘得光光的了。这样的事情在我身上没少发生，大概因为我是一个喜欢收藏东西的人吧，我有很多用不上的东西，但是我也不想把它们扔掉，因为我喜欢拥有的感觉。
（这本书里有很多地方都让我非常地有共鸣，但是我现在没有时间和篇幅将它们一一提到。）
这本书唯一不好的地方是它的味道。闻起来有一股酸味儿，就象是混合了醋、橡皮和糖……哎！闻起来相当地恶心。读这本书的大部分时间，我都不得不屏住呼吸。除了这个，我相当地喜欢这本书。任何想了解搬家的人、或者将搬家的人、或者搬过家的人，都应该读读这本书，因为它是如此地简单、信息量还这么地大，并且它是我读过的、关于搬家的、最好的一本书。
【小哭介绍背景】看来这是一本应该给小宝读的书！可是为什么Susan有机会读了一下，就不得而知了，并且看起来她还挺喜欢读的，这就更令我感到意外了！！在我眼里，Susan的骨子里有一股小资的劲儿，所以，她读书的时候，不但挑内容，还挑形式，比如封皮的色彩、画功、吸引力等，还挑书的排版，现在发现还挑味道！！当然，没有人愿意读一本发臭的书！！但是她会把这么一本图画书拿出来大书特书，还是令我相当地意外！！而我的脑子里，一点读过这篇小文的印象也没有了。
也许这本书之所以会被她拿来说事儿，完全是因为搬家这一话题。她有着太多的关于搬家的感受想讲了，而这本书给了她一个线索，把搬家从头到尾可以讲的事儿，都理了出来，于是她就可以跟着作者的思路把自己关于搬家的所思所想也写个痛快淋漓吧。搬了那么多，过程中肯定是有不少的艰难，然而，只要是能够挺过来，就肯定是一笔财富。她说不理解搬家是一种复杂心情的人，指的肯定是她的那些摩顿的朋友们了。没有哪个家长愿意总是搬来搬去，必竟从头开始并非容易。然而，搬惯了，就不怕了。不怕不是指喜欢，而是指有信心去面对挑战。
Susan文中没有针对搬家可以交到新朋友这事儿进行讨论。我倒是挺想说说。自从17岁离家上大学，除了在大连的七年求学生涯外，我还在成都、武汉、上海、广州、惠州和湛江生活过不短的时间。广州十年，我在两所大学、两个公司任过职，我就不曾真的一直属于过哪里。这里面会有不少的遗憾，但是也有着一般人少有的体验。这种因着搬家可以一直交到不同的朋友的感觉，也是相当地不错。那种不论走到哪里，都有可能会有朋友在那里的感觉，确实非常地爽。以前我一直觉得如果有一天可以在中国的西北也生活那么一两年，人生就丰富了，谁知哪一天不会去那边参与一座大桥的建设呢。不想来了美国。于是想，哪天要是有机会到加州或者休斯顿再生活几年就好了，在美国的经历就丰富了，可是哪想兜来转去，竟然重回了芝加哥——我在美国的第一站。谁知人生的下一站又会是在哪里呢？拥有强大的生存能力，就不会惧怕生活中将会出现的变故。如果能够真心地信靠上帝，也会很好。我们家的人现在都不想再搬家，可是谁也不怕搬家：）
想起了这次回波士顿，牙医送给我的一句话：永远别说什么是不可能发生的NEVER SAY NEVER。他说，当在团契上听了Susan的见证、翻了Susan的暑假写作集后，他认为Susan那么小就可以写出来这样的文字，还有一个创办过俱乐部的经历，所以，他不怀疑，也许有一天Susan会重回波士顿，到哈佛来上学。我马上来了句：那是永远也不可能的事情。他说不要这么说，让我们等着看吧。牙医当天把Susan文集中“我的妈妈”那篇拿到办公室复印去了。我们在摩顿的团契地点，是牙医开放了他的诊所所在的那栋房子。诊所在一楼，二楼三楼是休息室，团契在二楼，孩子们的教室在三楼。这个牙医，是一个令我敬佩的基督徒，他说得少、做得多，我从他的行动中，会感受到从那些说得多、做得少的人身上所无法感受的部分。
附上英文原文：
I could not have said it better. What am I talking about? The book “Tough Topics-Moving” by Patricia J. Murphy. If I was asked to give advice to people that are about to move, I would’ve said the exact same thing this book said. It’s a relatively simple book, only thirty pages with huge pictures and about two or three short sentences per page, but it got straight to the point, and covered everything about moving from beginning to end.
Now, I’m not talking about moving as in sports and running around. I mean moving as in leaving a place you’ve lived in for a while and going to live in a new place. Moving is a long and complicated proccess, from beginning to end, but with this book, you’ll never think of it as complicated again. I’m serious, this book is probably the best book I’ve read about moving so far. It covered everything, from beginning to end, and didn’t waste any space repeating itself. Every sentence is a new piece of advice or information, and put all those sentences together, you get a very simple but effective book about moving.
Starting from the beginning: Table of Contents. Like the rest of the book, the Contents page was very informative but very simple. The names the author gave to the different sections were straight to the point: Moving, Why Do People Move, How Do People Move, Getting Ready to Move, Saying Goodbye, Staying in Touch…etc. All the way to Making New Friends and Feeling at Home. Just one glance at the Table of Contents tell you that this book is very thourough, and one glance at the pages tells you that it’s also very easy to read.
I really really liked this book a lot. Everything I would’ve said about moving (moving in general, not my personal experiences) was included in this book. I could connect to every single sentence. It covered absolutely everything: from beginning to end, and explained it all in very simple sentences. To someone who haven’t moved before, they might find a lot of the things in the book very obvious, like “When you pack, it is a good idea to label your boxes so you know what is inside them”. Or, they can find some things confusing and strange, like “Moving can be exciting, but it can also be scary.” But since I’ve moved a LOT (like, four major moves in the past five years), I could totally understand everything it said. I could think up of a memory for everything it talked about. A lot of the points the book made was dead on, and I was like “YEAH! That’s EXACTLY how it was like!!”
One part of the book I liked a lot was when it talked about how you can have mixed feelings when you move. It talked about how moving can be exciting, and you may be happy to go to a new place. That’s how I felt each of the times I moved! And that’s also the part where most people don’t understand. All my friends expected me to be really sad that I’m leaving them behind, and they expected me to really hate moving. Well, I usually am really sad that I’m leaving them behind, but there’s also this level of excitement there about venturing out to live in a new place, to meet new people. A lot of people don’t undertand that, but the book talked about having mixed feelings four or five times! That made me feel a lot better, and it reassured me that I’m not totally weird.
Another place in the book that I really connected to was unpacking. It said “Unpacking can be a happy time when you find places to put your things.” That exactly how I feel when everything fits together. When I find a spot to put something that somehow looks both pretty and is easily accessible, I feel overjoyed! I feel proud and accomplished, so happy that it’s a bit strange I should get so happy over that simple of a thing.
Another quote I really like, though a bit understated: “It can also be upsettting when you cannot find things that you need.” It’s really frustrating when you realize you need something, and that you need it in the next few minutes, and you thought you knew where it was but then realize it’s not there. For instance, once, I needed my girl scout sash. I didn’t bother looking for it until I absolutely need it, because I was pretty sure I knew where it was. About a minute before I have to leave, I suddenly realize “Oh…wait a second…it’s not in the bottom of the suitcase in my closet…I don’t have a suitcase in this closet…that was in my last house.” It’s SO ANNOYING! Even more annoying is when you’ve packed everything, it looks absolutely perfect, everything fits just right, and then…your parentes shows up with another box of stuff (useless stuff, by the way) that you’ve completely forgotten about. That happens to me a lot, maybe because I’m a hoarder, meaning I have a lot of stuff I don’t need, but I don't want to throw them away, just because I like the feeling of having them.
(There’s a lot of other stuff about the book I could really connect to, but I don’t have the time or space to mention everything right now.)
The only negative side of the book was the smell. It smelled really sour, like vinegar and rubber and sweat….ugh! It smelled gross, and I had to hold my breath most of the time I was reading it. Other than that, I liked this book a lot. Anyone that want to know about moving, is about to move, or have moved should read this book, because as simple as it is, it’s very informative, and is one of the best books on moving I’ve every read.
| 刘瑛依旧 (2013-09-14 19:43:17) |
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你女儿的这篇短文，完全可以做《困难的话题——搬家》一书的序言。 给你回了悄悄话——迟复为歉！ |
| 周小哭 (2013-09-14 20:14:08) |
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呵呵，我跟作者商量一下，要不要我帮他把书译成中文，再加一个Susan的序：） |