By Susan
我的妈妈可能是我所能够拥有的最好的妈妈了。我不是说她是一个完美的妈妈,但是她是最适合我的妈妈。我真的无法想像换成另一个人给我当妈妈,我会怎么样。我一点也不想别人来给我当妈妈。我和妈妈有很多的分歧,有时候我真希望妈妈会像别人那样,但是我没想过,甚至一次都没有想过,让别人来给我当妈妈。我和妈妈一起生活了很多年,我无法想像没有她的生活。这并不仅仅是因为她照顾我、在她的帮助下我才能活着,还因为她的,嗯,她的“个性”,我找不到一个比“个性”更好的词儿来形容了。因为她就是那样的一个人,有她自己的想法和价值观,那样地说话和想事儿。我会不喜欢和不想要她做的一些事儿,但不会因为她是这样的人而不爱她。
现在我开始长大了,并且知道了更多的关于责任、工作、照顾别人和生活上的一些事情,我开始意识到我的妈妈是多么地了不起。她真的是一个非常好的妈妈。以前,我理所当然地认为她应该为我做很多的事情,那时我还无法理解什么是自我牺牲,什么是为了爱去做你并不想做的事儿。但是现在,我开始越来越看到妈妈有多么地在乎我,她为我放弃了多少机会。我非常感谢她教给我的所有东西,我也确信她会继续教给我更多。用文字简直没法描述她有多么地与众不同。每当想到我的妈妈是多么好的一个妈妈时,我的心里就充满了感激,并且觉得无论我做什么,都无法回报她,甚至都无法回报她给予我的一半儿。
我和妈妈的关系非常亲密。即使我们之间有很多的争执,我想我们还是非常地亲密。我可以和她说很多的事情,相信她能理解我,她会通情达理。这一点,我想是很多家庭所缺乏的。当然,我也为此付出了努力,我尽量表现得理性与成熟。还有,不仅仅是我和妈妈,我和爸爸的关系也是如此。我想这很棒,我们相互之间的关系是那样地亲密。不像有些家庭,孩子会讨厌他们的父母,而父母也总是训斥孩子。
我正在长大,正在形成自己的价值观,并且想拥有更多的独立性。我想我的妈妈正在开始接受这一点,她给了我更多的自由,在更多的事情上信任我。我很高兴她没有给我过于多的自由(像有的父母那样),在我需要的时候(很多时间我都有需要)还是能给我以指导。我希望当我长大时,我还能和我的妈妈保持着这种亲密的关系,虽然我可以预计出来,到那时会发生很多很多的改变。我也希望在自己变得更独立时和妈妈的关系不会疏远。
我和妈妈之间真是会有很多的争吵,但是我想这些争吵正在变得越来越没那么激烈。我们之间几乎没有发生过那种剧烈的争吵----对着对方喊叫,或“呯”地关上门,或摔东西什么的。我在努力地让自己更像一个基督徒,让我说的话更能促进我们之间的相互理解。当然也还有另一个原因,我越来越大,越来越明白妈妈的想法了(照顾我的小弟弟也会对此有所帮助)。这真是很棒,非常棒。
有时,我的妈妈会变得非常……我真的找不到一个词儿来形容这一点,“蛮不讲理”可能是我能找到的最贴切的词儿(不是像很多别的父母那样的不讲理,就是比她以前更不讲理而已)。她会因为一点小事儿就特别地生气和恼怒,并且有一半的时候,我甚至都没弄懂她究竟为什么生气了!去问她到底是怎么回事儿还很难,因为她会对于我不理解她为什么生气了而更加不高兴!这些通常都是小事情,第二天我们俩就全忘了。然而,当她以后再生气的时候,她就会重新提起。是的,“蛮不讲理”是形容她这种时候的最好的词儿。
上段说的真是件令人烦恼的事儿。但是更多的时候,她并非蛮不讲理。蛮不讲理只是发生在她生气或恼怒的时候,现在这种时候越来越少了。除了这一点,我想我们的关系是相当地好。她是一个很好的妈妈。我都快要十三岁了,我越来越理解她是一个多么好的妈妈。真的没有什么别的人会比我的妈妈做得更好的了,我非常地爱她。
【小哭介绍背景】
暑假前一周,Susan他们学校已经没有什么作业了。她坚持要帮我过生日,最后我们商量的结果就是我烤个蛋糕,她和弟弟来装饰。当然,那一天,我非常地快乐。过了几天,我突然间冒出一个想法,Susan眼里的我到底是个什么样的妈妈呢?于是我跟她商量,以后我的生日,她不用送给我什么别的礼物,就写一篇作文“我的妈妈”送给我就行。要写出真情实感的那种,要有一定概括能力的那种,别人通过作文会对妈妈有一个比较全面的了解的那种。我想看看,不同阶段的孩子眼里,妈妈会是什么样子。要是我能收集几十年的作文,那也会是一项小小的工程呢!
隔壁邻居的两个儿子都已经二、三十岁了,邻居说不要指望青春期的孩子说你好,等到他们二、三十岁了、工作了再说你好才是真的好。邻居说她儿子曾经在青春期说她这不好那不好,可是现在送上的全是感谢:)于是我做好了准备、Susan会说我一堆坏话的准备,因为我知道自己脾气不太好,性子又特别急,可以给她挑毛病的地方不是一点两点,那简直是“罄竹难书”啊。何况她还曾经专门写过一篇文章声讨我。那天她特别地生气,一整天可以说是诸事不顺,我还在车里没完没了地批评她,结果她在文章中说,她当时都想伸手把前面的我给掐死了。当然,她不会的:)
当我那晚读到这篇小文的时候,我的心里充满了感动!!她是一个非常厚道的孩子,文中只用了一个段落讲我的毛病,还是全世界都公认的那一点。相比之下,我不得不说,基督徒的精神,是她自我约束的动力,也是我为之感动的地方。虽然我没有她在信仰的道路上走得快,可是,我确实因为她的信而深受感动,并且多少也会心向往之。我常常会因为她时而表现不好而“口出恶言”,比如“这哪像个基督徒嘛,Susan你别再劝我信上帝了,我可不想成为你这样的基督徒”。但是,如果她表现得跟写作文时一样的状态时,我就会择吉言说:“给我时间,上帝自有他的时间表,看到你信了后表现这么好,我想我的时间也快了”:)
附上英文原文:
My mom is probably the best mother I can have. I’m not saying she’s a perfect person, but she’s the perfect mother for me. I really can’t imagine myself with someone else as a mom, and nor do I wish I have someone else as my mom. We have a lot of disaggreements, and there are some times where I wish my mom would be like someone else, but I don’t want, not even for an instant, for someone else to be my mom. My mom is the person I’ve lived with for years, and I can’t imagine life without her. It’s not just because she takes care of me and help me survive, it’s also because of her….personality, for the lack of a better word. It’s also because of who she is, her thoughts, her values, what she says, her mind. I don’t love her and need her just because of the things she do, but because of who she is.
Now that I’m starting to grow up and know more about responsibility, work, taking care of someone else, and about life in general, I’m starting to realize how amazing my mom is. She really is a very good mother. Before, I took for granted a lot of the things she would do for me, because I wasn’t grown up enough to understand the meaning of sacrifice and doing something you don’t want to because of love, but now, I’m starting to see more and more how much my mom cares for me, and how much she gave up for me. I’m very grateful for all the things she’s taught me, and I’m sure she’ll continue to teach me more. It’s not possible to describe, in words, how special she is. I just feel really overwhelmed whenever I think of how good of a mother my mom is, and feel that no matter what I do, I can’t give back even half of what she has given me.
My relationship with my mom is very good. Even though we argue a lot, I think we are very close. I can talk to her about a lot of things and trust her to be able to understand me and be resonable. That, I think, is what a lot of families are lacking. Of course, I contribute to this too, by being reasonable and mature. And this doesn’t just applie to my mom, to my dad too. I think it’s awesome, how connected we all are, not like some families where the kid hates the parent and the parent always shouts at the kid.
Now that I’m growing up, I’m starting to form my own values and grow independent of my parents. I think my mom is starting to accept that and give me more freedom, trusting me with more things. I’m glad she’s not giving me TOO much freedom (like some parents do), and still give me guidance when I need it (which I need a lot). I hope that as I grow up, I would still be able to keep that close relationship with my mom, although I’m sure it’s going to have to change more and more. I also hope that being more independent will not make me become more distant from my mom.
We do still get into a lot of arguments, but I think they’re getting less and less heated. We hardly get into HUGE arguments were we shout at eachother and I slam the doors and stuff. I’m trying to be more Christian and be more understanding with my words. It also has to do with the fact that I’m growing up and understand more about the way my mom think (having a little brother to take care of helps a lot). That’s a good thing, a very good thing.
Somethings, my mom gets very…I really don’t have a word for it. Unreasonable woud be the closest word I can find (not as unresonable as a lot of other parents get, just a bit more unreasonable than she was before). She gets angry or annoyed a lot about little things, and half of the time, I can’t even understand why she’s mad! And it’s hard to ask her about it, because then she gets mad at me for the fact that I don’t understand! It’s ususally about small things, and by the next day, we’ve both forgotten about it. However, she would bring it up when she gets mad. Yes, unreasonable is a good word.
That’s a real annoyance, but most of the time, she’s not unreasonable. That’s just when she gets angry or annoyed, which is something that’s happening less and less. Other than that, I think our relationship is going really well. She’s a really good mom, and now that I’m almost thirteen, I’m understanding more and more how good of a mother she is. There really is no other person that can do the job better, and I love her very much.
木桐白云 (2013-08-22 22:26:39) |
到了孩子能够理解一点父母的时候就是幸福的时候。 |
周小哭 (2013-08-22 23:14:01) |
Susan在这类问题上,明显地属于“语言的巨人,行动的矮子”阶段。读文章会被她的文字感动,回头看她跟我争吵,就怀疑这还是写文章的那个孩子吗? 其实她这篇文章没有细节,特别缺乏感染力。然而这是写给我的文章,那些细节没有也没关系。就我自己来讲,我更想看到她对我的评价。从她美国式客气的表达上来看,其实她对我的很多不满都没有写出来,真是谢谢她笔下留情。(阿朵,自己错发的留言也不能删除吗?再帮忙加多一个控制开头吧) |
阿朵 (2013-08-23 00:08:43) |
你是可以修改自己的发言的。自己留言也不能删除是因为,一旦你删除了自己的留言,所有对你留言的回复也被删除了。 控制开头是什么意思? |
周小哭 (2013-08-23 00:25:13) |
不是开头,是开关。是想加多一个按钮就方便了,新浪那边都是能删除的。不过你说的原因我也理解,下次留言的时候要小心一点。 |
心桥 (2013-09-10 05:58:38) |
真为小哭感到骄傲:“最适合我的妈妈” - 如果威廉和大卫在13岁时能这样描写我,我会觉得是对我最大的褒奖。“亲密的家庭关系”才能让“家”成为孩子力量的源泉。Susan 是个幸运的孩子,有这样理解她爱她的父母。 |
周小哭 (2013-09-10 13:08:29) |
嗯,我也觉得评价不错,远超预期。大卫应该不到13就会说了:)我觉得在Susan的写作过程中,我能够明显地感觉到“美国文化”——就是她基本不会用负面的评价,比如她不喜欢的时候,会说不是那么喜欢。 |
刘瑛依旧 (2013-09-14 20:26:16) |
嗬!从孩子笔下,我们看到了一个母亲的形象。 |
周小哭 (2013-09-14 20:27:34) |
呵呵:) |