给校长的两封信 (+ 给老师的一封信)
周六的讲座上，很多家长对我帮孩子找到合适老师的经历感兴趣，今天在这里分享。
2010年威廉上 kindergarten 之前我很紧张。以前的博文里提过，他虽然四岁起就热爱阅读，数学等，但社交能力远低于同龄孩子，幼稚园三年中曾被两位老师怀疑过有自闭症。Kindergarten 是正式学校教育的第一年，如果这一年打不好基础，会影响到孩子对学校甚至学习的态度，那下十几年怎么办呢？
四月, 我给校长写了一封简短的信，请求帮助：
April 17, 2010
Dear Mr. W.:
How are you? My name is G. Julie Xie, a parent of one of your incoming kindergarteners in fall. I’m writing to ask for your help to place my son, William S. in a classroom that is positive and structured. William loves learning and has strong pre-academic skills. However, he needs a lot of support in social and behavioral development. I’d truly appreciate it if he could study with a teacher who sets consistent boundary while encouraging children’s enthusiasm in learning with positive feedbacks.
Please feel free to call me at 650-xxx-xxxx or email me at julie@xxx.com for any questions. Thank you in advance for your consideration.
Sincerely,
G. Julie Xie
八月底，学校公布了学生分班的名单后，我在开学两天前拜访了威廉的班。B老师正在认真地整理教室，所以我介绍完自己，简单解释了我的担心，几分钟后就离开了。第二天，我给B老师留了一封信，好让她在最短的时间内对威廉早做准备。
August 30, 2010
Dear Mrs. B.:
Thank you very much for taking your time talking with me this afternoon. Thank you for your hard work getting your classroom so beautiful.
I always advocate for prevention when it comes to behavioral support. That’s why I would like to summarize William’s characteristics so he won’t take too much of your time when 30 other students start at the same time on Wednesday.
Strengths: - inquisitive; loves learning; loves to help
strong reading and math calculation skills
Weaknesses: - perfectionist, frustrates easily when things not going well
at times has difficulty expressing feelings of frustration or anger properly
can be distracted easily, especially during unstructured time
Responds well to: - praises
opportunity to be a classroom helper
time away to cool off when frustrated
Thank you very much for taking your time reading my summary. I look forward to working with you this school year to help William continue growing and learning. Please feel free to call me at 650-xxx-xxxx or email me at julie@xxx.com for any questions.
Best wishes for a successful school year!
Sincerely,
G. Julie Xie
(overly anxious mother of William S.)
那一学年我每周都去教室做义工，每天都在心里对B老师感激不尽。在她永远整齐的教室里，永远镇定的微笑和永远平和的声音下，我对威廉所有的担心都是多余的。毫不夸张地说，B老师是每一位家长对学校教育的美梦成真。
学年结束时，我又给校长写了一封信：
April 17, 2011
Dear Mr. W.:
My name is G. Julie Xie. I had written to you last April regarding my son, William S.’s kindergarten placement. I’m writing to thank you for placing him in Mrs. B.’s K class. Mrs. B. is the most competent and caring educator that I’ve ever met during my eleven years working for public schools. I want to share with you a few things that I’m really grateful for throughout this school year.
Mrs. B. takes extended time preparing for her class activities and always goes an extra mile to make kindergarten a memorable first year for her students. For example, she prepares a beautiful Halloween album to encourage students’ interest in writing. She designs a special poster on every student’s birthday. She carefully reviews each student’s assignments. William loves reading her feedback on every page of his homework packets. Her differentiated instruction has also inspired William to become an enthusiastic writer.
Mrs. B. takes her time communicating with parents. She always provides prompt feedback on students’ class performance before or after school. Whenever I have a question, I always have my answer from her on that day. Many of her email messages were written before 8 a.m. or after 4 p.m. Any parent can tell how much she understands and cares for her students from her feedback.
What I’m most grateful for is Mrs. B.’s understanding of children’s individual educational needs. She celebrates their strengths while patiently guiding their development on weaknesses. William has difficulty accepting his own mistakes as well as others’ perspectives. Once he even challenged Mrs. B.’s teaching in class. His behavior could easily be interpreted as “disruptive” by most teachers. However, Mrs. B. was always patient with him and tried various ways to help him express his opinions in appropriate ways. Thanks to her guidance, William has been making noticeable progress in self control and social interaction since last September.
I can’t thank you enough for giving William such a wonderful teacher who has made kindergarten successful and memorable experiences for him. I look forward to working with more distinguished educators like Mrs. B. in the years to come at Distinguished G. School.
Sincerely,
G. Julie Xie
B老师告诉我，当她读到这封信时，眼泪止不住留出来。可我相信，她教书这27年中，和我有同感的父母一定不计其数。
评价一位老师的教学，不用去听课，只要看孩子们去上学时冲进教室的速度有多快，放学时离开教室的速度有多慢就好了。K班毕业时，威廉和他的每一位同学都是那样恋恋不舍。
那一年威廉常常提醒我，不管学生做错什么事，B老师从来没提高过她的声音; 不知不觉地，大家在教室里都是该做什么做什么。我把B老师称作教室里的 “魔术师”，是我学教育的英雄。
作为家长，我们最了解自己的孩子。很多孩子天生乖巧灵活，注意力又强，那他/她们不论分到什么教学风格的老师班上,学习效果都不会有太大差别。但象威廉这样的孩子，在他年龄尚小，对自己对他人对学习对世界的理解还在通过周围的反应来积累的时候，需要我们的一臂之力帮他找到最适合成长的环境。
祝所有今秋入学的小朋友都找到最适合自己的老师。
| 周小哭 (2013-08-20 20:35:53) |
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我刚回家，打开电脑就看到了这篇文章。写得真好！！我也有类似的经历可以分享，等有时间慢慢地写出来。 不仅仅是学校，几乎孩子参与的所有活动，家长的帮助都有可能改变孩子的一生，特别是孩子还小的时候。因为外界在家长的引导下，会非常有针对性地对待孩子，无形中就受孩子受益良多。这次我回波士顿拜访一个朋友，临走前她特别地关照我，一定要和孩子的老师保持良好的沟通。在她的眼里，老师甚至比你还了解真实的孩子。 |
| Sujuan (2013-08-21 05:03:51) |
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感动心桥这样建筑性建议帮助自己的孩子适应新学校，也感动您的感谢信，对老师和校长都是十分珍贵的feedback！ |
| 老来天真 (2013-08-21 07:56:27) |
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我想我的女儿也有幸遇到了像B老师一样的老师，如果你看到我的文《告别的眼泪在飞》就知道我女儿是多么的感激和不舍学校和老师。好老师对人的一生真的是很重要呀！ |
| 心桥 (2013-08-22 05:39:44) |
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感谢小哭的鼓励和分享。美国小学老师除各门主课都要教外，还负责孩子的行为管理，社交等多方面发展，很象代理家长。特别是Ｋ到３年级，他／她们说的话比父母的话对孩子分量重，对学习态度的发展和习惯的养成很重要。很感恩威廉已经连续三年有优秀的老师引导，下周一就知道今年分到哪一班了，希望还是位 warm but firm 的老师。 |
| 心桥 (2013-08-22 05:44:51) |
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刚还在跟读您幽默又长见识的游轮记，马上就看到您的细心留言。已经回家了吗？感谢您的鼓励。心里再感激，不说出来也没人知道。这样的好老师，我一定要让校长了解。 |
| 心桥 (2013-08-22 05:48:47) |
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感谢您的分享。再次拜读《告别的眼泪在飞》，还是一样感动，特别是真儿和同学们的照片。好的老师可以改变孩子对学习的态度，甚至改写一生的道路。我就是好老师的受益者，所以特别尊敬优秀的老师。 |
| Sujuan (2013-08-22 14:10:17) |
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回家一周多了，穷人日子又过上了！谢谢心桥在文轩给我们这么多专业育儿指导！恭喜美食获奖！ |
| 西山 (2013-08-23 01:10:37) |
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我也给老师写过信介绍我的孩子，希望能和老师保持沟通，让孩子的潜力在老师的协助下最大程度地发挥出来。但是，我没有你这么专业，也不是一直有做到，所以看了受益匪浅。谢谢！ |