不能只看到禁枪一面,请看一个母亲的诉说:

Mom says 'I am Adam Lanza's mother,' details life with terrifying son

11 hrs ago

In the post-Newtown debate over mental illness, a distraught and exhausted mother has written a chilling article describing life with her troubled son and the health care system's shortage of options. The boy, "Michael," remains undiagnosed, and despite medication he continues to exhibit a hair-trigger temper. His mother says Michael shares characteristics with gunman Adam Lanza and other mass killers, and during his unpredictable episodes he makes frightening and violent threats. The mother's lack of help is typified by her meeting with a social worker who informed her that their best option is to get Michael charged with a crime, because "That’s the only way you’re ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to you unless you’ve got charges."

The entire article is republished below with permission from "The Blue Review."

Friday’s horrific national tragedy—the murder of 20 children and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary School in New Town, Connecticut—has ignited a new discussion on violence in America. In kitchens and coffee shops across the country, we tearfully debate the many faces of violence in America: gun culture, media violence, lack of mental health services, overt and covert wars abroad, religion, politics and the way we raise our children. Liza Long, a writer based in Boise, says it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.

Three days before 20 year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.

“I can wear these pants,” he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.

“They are navy blue,” I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black or khaki pants only.”

“They told me I could wear these,” he insisted. “You’re a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!”

“You can’t wear whatever pants you want to,” I said, my tone affable, reasonable. “And you definitely cannot call me a stupid bitch. You’re grounded from electronics for the rest of the day. Now get in the car, and I will take you to school.”

I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.

A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7 and 9 year old siblings knew the safety plan—they ran to the car and locked the doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael, then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued to scream insults at me and threaten to kill or hurt me.

That conflict ended with three burly police officers and a paramedic wrestling my son onto a gurney for an expensive ambulance ride to the local emergency room. The mental hospital didn’t have any beds that day, and Michael calmed down nicely in the ER, so they sent us home with a prescription for Zyprexa and a follow-up visit with a local pediatric psychiatrist.

We still don’t know what’s wrong with Michael. Autism spectrum, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant or Intermittent Explosive Disorder have all been tossed around at various meetings with probation officers and social workers and counselors and teachers and school administrators. He’s been on a slew of antipsychotic and mood altering pharmaceuticals, a Russian novel of behavioral plans. Nothing seems to work.

At the start of seventh grade, Michael was accepted to an accelerated program for highly gifted math and science students. His IQ is off the charts. When he’s in a good mood, he will gladly bend your ear on subjects ranging from Greek mythology to the differences between Einsteinian and Newtonian physics to Doctor Who. He’s in a good mood most of the time. But when he’s not, watch out. And it’s impossible to predict what will set him off.

Several weeks into his new junior high school, Michael began exhibiting increasingly odd and threatening behaviors at school. We decided to transfer him to the district’s most restrictive behavioral program, a contained school environment where children who can’t function in normal classrooms can access their right to free public babysitting from 7:30-1:50 Monday through Friday until they turn 18.

The morning of the pants incident, Michael continued to argue with me on the drive. He would occasionally apologize and seem remorseful. Right before we turned into his school parking lot, he said, “Look, Mom, I’m really sorry. Can I have video games back today?”

“No way,” I told him. “You cannot act the way you acted this morning and think you can get your electronic privileges back that quickly.”

His face turned cold, and his eyes were full of calculated rage. “Then I’m going to kill myself,” he said. “I’m going to jump out of this car right now and kill myself.”

That was it. After the knife incident, I told him that if he ever said those words again, I would take him straight to the mental hospital, no ifs, ands, or buts. I did not respond, except to pull the car into the opposite lane, turning left instead of right.

“Where are you taking me?” he said, suddenly worried. “Where are we going?”

“You know where we are going,” I replied.

“No! You can’t do that to me! You’re sending me to hell! You’re sending me straight to hell!”

I pulled up in front of the hospital, frantically waiving for one of the clinicians who happened to be standing outside. “Call the police,” I said. “Hurry.”

Michael was in a full-blown fit by then, screaming and hitting. I hugged him close so he couldn’t escape from the car. He bit me several times and repeatedly jabbed his elbows into my rib cage. I’m still stronger than he is, but I won’t be for much longer.

The police came quickly and carried my son screaming and kicking into the bowels of the hospital. I started to shake, and tears filled my eyes as I filled out the paperwork—“Were there any difficulties with… at what age did your child… were there any problems with.. has your child ever experienced.. does your child have…”

At least we have health insurance now. I recently accepted a position with a local college, giving up my freelance career because when you have a kid like this, you need benefits. You’ll do anything for benefits. No individual insurance plan will cover this kind of thing.

For days, my son insisted that I was lying—that I made the whole thing up so that I could get rid of him. The first day, when I called to check up on him, he said, “I hate you. And I’m going to get my revenge as soon as I get out of here.”

By day three, he was my calm, sweet boy again, all apologies and promises to get better. I’ve heard those promises for years. I don’t believe them anymore.

On the intake form, under the question, “What are your expectations for treatment?” I wrote, “I need help.”

And I do. This problem is too big for me to handle on my own. Sometimes there are no good options. So you just pray for grace and trust that in hindsight, it will all make sense.

I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza’s mother. I am Dylan Klebold’s and Eric Harris’s mother. I am James Holmes’s mother. I am Jared Loughner’s mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho’s mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.

According to Mother Jones, since 1982, 61 mass murders involving firearms have occurred throughout the country. Of these, 43 of the killers were white males, and only one was a woman. Mother Jones focused on whether the killers obtained their guns legally (most did). But this highly visible sign of mental illness should lead us to consider how many people in the U.S. live in fear, like I do.

When I asked my son’s social worker about my options, he said that the only thing I could do was to get Michael charged with a crime. “If he’s back in the system, they’ll create a paper trail,” he said. “That’s the only way you’re ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to you unless you’ve got charges.”

I don’t believe my son belongs in jail. The chaotic environment exacerbates Michael’s sensitivity to sensory stimuli and doesn’t deal with the underlying pathology. But it seems like the United States is using prison as the solution of choice for mentally ill people. According to Human Rights Watch, the number of mentally ill inmates in U.S. prisons quadrupled from 2000 to 2006, and it continues to rise—in fact, the rate of inmate mental illness is five times greater (56 percent) than in the non-incarcerated population.

With state-run treatment centers and hospitals shuttered, prison is now the last resort for the mentally ill—Rikers Island, the LA County Jail and Cook County Jail in Illinois housed the nation’s largest treatment centers in 2011.

No one wants to send a 13-year old genius who loves Harry Potter and his snuggle animal collection to jail. But our society, with its stigma on mental illness and its broken healthcare system, does not provide us with other options. Then another tortured soul shoots up a fast food restaurant. A mall. A kindergarten classroom. And we wring our hands and say, “Something must be done.”

I agree that something must be done. It’s time for a meaningful, nation-wide conversation about mental health. That’s the only way our nation can ever truly heal.

God help me. God help Michael. God help us all.






融融 (2012-12-17 05:39:59)

看不懂英文的只好抱歉了,我没有那么多时间翻译。

融融 (2012-12-17 05:44:41)

有一种测试酸碱平衡的小纸条,有文章介绍说,忧郁症也是偏酸性的,很多疾病与酸性体液有关。我们去买了,当地营养品商店的价格很贵。网上订购比较便宜一点,但是加上寄费也便宜不了多少。如果大家一起买的话,比较合算。怎么测试?网上有很多文章,我不细说了,可以测试唾液也可测试尿液。我在生态厨房讲座时也向大家介绍了。

http://www.chemworld.com/pH-Test-Strips-p/pHTS.htm?gclid=CLGX86_glrQCFYF7QgodEQwArw

今天突然想起是否也应该向精神有病的人推荐?防患于未然?精神病是否与食品有关系?

英文名字叫:

PH test stripes

 

雨林 (2012-12-17 11:27:02)

谢谢转载一个母亲的无奈。触动很深。。

天婴 (2012-12-17 17:51:46)

枪不是问题,人才是问题。

融融 (2012-12-17 17:59:35)

没错。我的一个朋友正在翻译此文,弄好了会贴上来。

融融 (2012-12-17 20:33:21)

美国宪法允许百姓拥有枪支,主要是对付政府和权力部门的(军队警察等等)。这是美国人的信仰,万一出了问题,可以用枪支保护自己。所以只能改进枪支管理,不能全面禁枪。

我们不住在人口集中的地方,外出老公总是带枪的。我们很多朋友住在有野生动物的区域,不能禁止他们有枪。今天看到有条新闻说,老师是否应该带枪上班,以保护学生?在新办法出笼之前,也是值得考虑的。

 

panda13 (2012-12-17 22:21:06)

同情这位母亲的处境,但是我认为她的持枪并不能保护自己,反倒给自己和社会都带来更大潜在危险。试想,难道她能保证24小时都把枪控制在自己手上? 如果她一时疏忽睡着了,或是被她儿子下了药。。。

确实,枪本身并不是根本问题。Criminals are the root cause of crimes, but gun is the major cause for massacre. 如果这次康州的杀手没有枪, it will be very difficult for him to kill 27 people. 新闻里说学校里 massacre 都是用那把半自动步枪干的。禁枪 does not prevent crime, but I do think it helps to prevent MASS killing.

henrysong (2012-12-18 06:26:43)

没错,宪法第二修正案规定人民有持枪的权利,但当时的出发点是为了防止政府独裁,并且美国立宪时没有政府军队,所以人民有持枪保护自己家园抵抗外来入侵的责任,这是第二修正案的宗旨所在。如今,美国拥有全世界最强大的正规军,所以不需要人民持枪防御家园,第二,人民手中的枪枝永远无法与政府拥有的现代化武器抗衡,所以抵抗政府防止政府独裁的目的已经不再成立,所以宪法修正案第二条的基础已经不再存在。尤其是在和平社会里,我不明白任何人有任何理由需要拥有每分钟可以连发五十一百发子弹的枪枝,除了造成大规模的平民伤亡之外,还有任何其他合理的用途吗?

牧童歌谣 (2012-12-18 17:28:26)

老师带枪上班? 太可怕了! 其实,有枪不一定能防御危险,一个没有经过训练的善良人(包括技术训练和心理训练),很难对准活人扣扳机。 往往自己的抢给犯罪分子反倒提供了作案工具。 家庭枪支伤害了自己家人的比例比防御入侵的比例要高许多许多。 我老公曾经图好玩想买一支枪,被我严辞制止了。

牧童歌谣 (2012-12-18 17:31:30)

宪法第二修正案制定的时候, 上一发子弹要30秒钟。现在呢,子弹连射速度完全是大规模杀伤形式的。 我相信美国的先祖们如果知道这样,也要考虑考虑。

融融 (2012-12-18 17:36:14)

无疑枪支需要管理,但全面禁止不符合国情。

融融 (2012-12-18 21:09:24)

如果法律允许学校老师带枪,谁还敢去学校伤害无辜的孩子?即便不是每个老师都带枪,只要允许,就像警察局一样把伤害降到最低。

好奇 (2012-12-18 22:02:30)

枪全部禁止是不太可能的。但是控制是必须的。比如很powerful的应该禁止。 有些欧洲国家是每家皆兵,都有武器,但是没有泛滥多于1-2个,就没有这么多的问题。

林玫phoenix (2012-12-19 04:58:06)

没错,老皇历的东西是该改改了,现如今这枪的害早大于利了,尤其被精神病拿了枪,就没个好的。看近期发生的几起大规模杀人时间,土桑的,科罗拉多州的,康州的,都是疯子干的,疯子们干了,还没罪,死的可白死了,冤不冤啊?找谁说理去啊?现代社会,以暴易暴不足取。赶明儿大家人手一枪,出门说话不对付拔枪就打,你手枪,我步枪,他机关枪,再不行,我火箭炮,这样下去就倒退回一百年前,咱上演美国西部片得了。

林玫phoenix (2012-12-19 04:59:54)

结果两个老师呕气,都拔枪,帮帮,都躺倒了。

林玫phoenix (2012-12-19 05:03:21)

2011年7月22日,布雷维克在奥斯陆市中心引爆汽车炸弹,并赴于特岛开枪杀害参加工党露营活动的青年学生,共造成77人死亡。

渺渺 (2012-12-19 05:45:01)

仅仅一个小小的文轩,大家对禁枪与否都有这么多不同意见,更别说美国这么大的一个国家,要通过一个”禁枪“法案需要花多大的力气噢!孰是孰非,是好是坏,只有让事实来说话了!呵呵!

融融 (2012-12-19 05:57:15)

你们都是住在大城市里的吧!美国农场主个个有枪,能叫他们把枪放下吗?野兽来了怎么办?

为什么没有人关心精神病人的管理呢?我们一个邻居的孩子,精神忧郁症,刚从医院出来,在家里开枪自杀了,22岁。就是上个月。张纯如不也是刚从医院出来后自杀的吗?类似例子有很多。美国在精神病人的治疗和管理上很有问题。

予微 (2012-12-20 03:46:27)

更有孩子学生比老师还高大,抢了老师的枪。

孩子在家,拿父母的枪,把玩,无意造成的伤害也是不计其数。

予微 (2012-12-20 04:41:31)

我不懂枪,凭空想象,猎枪与冲锋枪,机关枪,还是不同的吧?

所以,还是要禁止大杀伤力武器的。

总统国会议会无法禁止人犯精神病,却是可以立法禁这些大杀伤力的枪。