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注册: 06/30/2012 - 05:47
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座无虚席的青少年心理健康讲座:视频照片细节

如果组织活动前三番五次在几个群请家长们注册,收到三十份,又是过节前最忙碌的周日,临镇教会有大批华人受洗,中文学校同时还有写字作文比赛,一大早又刮风下雨,您估计会来多少人?前晚我做梦主持此活动,有三十人到场,自己觉得也不错了。结果来了120!
11/19/2017,感恩节前最忙碌的一个周日,密尔本华夏中文学校举办青少年心理健康讲座,吸引了Millburn,Livingston及附近镇的120多位各族裔家长。我们请来对学区孩子们有深入了解的Nancy Kislin针对手机、电玩、抑郁、焦虑、社交等等青少年常见问题进行了演讲和问答。Nancy母亲做手术又查出癌症,几天来我跟她沟通topics and logistics 她都在医院里回复,讲座后还要赶回去,十分佩服她的敬业精神。宣传讲座文章链接 http://overseaswindow.com/node/27414
 
针对一般讲座听众参与很少的情况,我设计了mock conversation (role play)环节,家长现场演练的题目包括1)如何跟孩子沟通使用手机(establish a boundary),2)见到朋友孩子吸毒,酗酒等等如何跟朋友沟通。下图中的非华人男士积极参与role play,值得我们学习。Nancy说我们是a group of bashful parents.
 
提问环节中的一个问题是除了学业之外的社交压力。恰好引入了二代ABC成长过程中遇到的issues of popularity, fitting in etc. 以及我们作为第一代移民和二代沟的障碍。我请来的韩裔协会主席Lisa Son(心理学教授,下图)分享了她作为二代韩裔的成长经历; 韩裔协会12/15的讨论会the happiness of pursuit 也别错过哦。Lisa和我参加Lauren Liu的追思会时哭了不少,也探讨了很多。当时我都后悔告诉了她这样的tragedy,但她没有推脱,两次都是came at my last minute's notice.
家长们提问涉及各种角度,各年龄层次。匿名的形式给不愿开口的家长们提供了方便,也便于归类节省时间,但还是希望以后华人能更多开口探讨。
 
 
其中一个热门话题是何时给孩子手机,Nancy的建议是十二岁。她关于升学补课问题的解答是家长应该放松”if parents are anxious, kids know.” “Some parents checked PowerSchool as many as 100 times in a single day!” “If your child didn’t get to a good school, and you are upset, take a walk.”
针对学区出现的悲剧,Nancy建议家长“示弱”,be vulnerable, tell kids, “I don’t want you to be in that kind of pain. If you are mad at me, talk to dad/mom; if you are mad at both of us, go to aunt so and so, or talk to your teacher...” 她也推荐documentary film The Mask You Live In.

写了很多specific topics and role play scenarios, 但时间远远不够, 还有几个题目都没练习。家长们不只是听众,也是参与者。讲座结束后大家还在和Nancy、Lisa以及其他家长探讨。
 
感谢学委刘建翔(Jesse Liu)联络学区发出eblast, 大概有1/6非华裔家长到场并踊跃参与,华人还是比较不爱开口。好在我们事先预料到此情况,准备了index card。感谢李娜录像,照相发放questionnaire, and index cards。感谢家长会长李晖及时发信息通知家长们。

Feedback from a non Chinese parent: “Thank you.  I was able to make it this morning and the seminar was terrific.  Thank you for sending the links as I will share them with my husband who was not able to attend.  
 
家长们告诉我这是密尔本华夏中文学校举办的规模最大的一次讲座,那要归功于欧阳校长月初就给我打电话商量,又组织音响, 准备index cards, 联络照相,现场发视频。最主要的是He has a calmer mind than me. I was literally stressed out over how many people will show up. ~我们知道老中沉得住气的习惯。为了这个忙了两周,做梦都是在planning the flow.

家长反馈:“给下一代分享,Mental health care 是以后很少的几个没发给AI代替的领域之一,外包也不好外包。中国人传统矜持一点,生活里没有 priest, 也没 rabbi, 三姑六嫂在的远,mental health and psychiatric care 是个社区的弱点,也是个下一代发展的契机。这条路上多探探,对个人对社区都有利。人说知己知彼,研究儿子女儿的心理健康和发展, 让你了解他们, 也让你了解自己。也会让你了解社会上的其他人,可以是你的同事,也可以是你的老板 。这个过程下来的副产品也是优秀人才的必备品;交流技术,洞察力,分析能力...给培养 Chinese American里的CEO, leaders ,作家,艺术家,Woody Allen或Martin Scorsese甚 politicians,standup comedians 垫个底。最终目的要的是培养有心理健康意识的后代(也别忘了自己),避免很多可以避免的悲剧。”

转自密尔本华夏中文学校校长欧阳了寒:“前不久密尔本初中毕业的一位14岁的全A学生在家自杀,学生和家长们震惊不已。今天学校特邀Ms Nancy Kislin 来作讲座,回答大家关于忧郁、自杀和其他心理健康方面的问题。李春燕教授主持。来自密尔本和李庄等120多位各族裔的家长参加了讲座。希望我们家长高度重视心理健康,在严格要求小孩时,知道界限在那里。”

My suggestions to Nancy

Speech topics

1. Warning signs of stress and depression.

2. Cell phone and social network causing the rise in depression and suicide.

3. Asian students worrying about not fitting in socially. Do u have clients worrying about fitting in, or being ostracized?

4. Kids hurting/killing themselves because parents don’t accept their sexual orientation. 

5. Lack of communication between Kids and parents. How do parents talk to the kids?

6. How to tell other parents about their kids doing inappropriate things, or being depressed.             

7. (Time permitting) Peer pressure: drinking vaping and drug use.

 

Flow: 30 min speech, 30 min Q&A, then 30 min for parents to have mock conversations with Nancy.

1. Something is bothering my child, and I want her to talk to the counselor, but she refused. Pretend you are the Child. 

2. I heard my friend’s son is using drugs/vaping, I want to call my friend. Pretend you are the friend. (已现场练习)

3. My child is addicted to his phone. I want to limit the use. Pretend you are the parent. (已现场练习)

4. My husband doesn’t agree w me on the need to seek outside therapy. Pretend you are the wife. 


E Blast content
Millburn Institute of Talent to host seminar on Mental Health 
 
Time:Sunday 11/19 10-11:30am
Location:Millburn High School Cafeteria (462 Millburn Ave, Millburn) 
Speaker:Nancy Kislin
Moderator: Chunyan Li, Ph.D. 
RSVP recommended: lichunyan@yahoo.com
 
Nancy has hosted face-to-face and online (via WeChat) seminars on various topics in nearby towns such as Millburn and Livingston. Previous topics included Vaping, Teen Vogue magazine, Screenager, 13 Reasons Why. She is a psychotherapist, licensed clinical social worker, certified marriage and family therapist, parenting coach, infidelity expert, meditation teacher, and a professor with over 28 years of experience.

宣传文章
My impromptu speech at the end of the seminar:

I went through an 8 hour training called Youth Mental Health First Aid, a certificate program for parents and community leaders who interact with children. 

Topics include: various mental health issues (definition, signs and symptoms, risk factors), hands on activities such role play (a lot of scenario analysis and role play), quiz, drawing and presenting various tips related to adolescents. Communication skills are emphasized throughout the day: as a first responder, how do you respond to a situation. 

 

The videos we watched, especially a suicide survivor Kevin Hines who jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge, was inspiring. Kevin has bipolar, but not properly diagnosed. No one can understand his pain until he decided to end his life. His father noticed something on the morning and asked to take Kevin to work. But Kevin was unconsciously waiting for his father to spell it out “Are you planning to kill yourself?” Kevin went on the bus thinking that if one person asked if he was OK he’d not do it. But no one did.

 

At the Golden Gate, again Kevin hoped one person would ask him. But one lady asked him to take a picture for her. He did while thinking nobody cared. Then jumped. 

 

To have a survivor go through the entire progression from illness to contemplating suicide is powerful. 

 

The day of training ended with watching rapper Logic rap the suicide hotline. The song generated 150 million views and caused a 50% increase of calls to the hotline (my son knew of this stats reading an article on the song). On the stage are suicide survivors. That scene moved me to tears.

 

As a community, we need to open up the discussion of mental health, whether kids or adults.


其他背景:青少年女生自残率大幅度上涨

Self-harm rises sharply among tween and young teen girls, study shows

 “But inside that increasing trend of girls and young women harming themselves — a yearly hike of 8.4% in ER visits over six years — lies an even more alarming statistic: Among girls 10 to 14 years old, rates of ER visits for treatment of self-harm surged 18.8% yearly between 2009 and 2015.”
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