硅谷青少年说出心声 - 辅导员DeeDee对家长的几条建议

 

家长指南:网络信息时代,做好青少年的导航

青少年心理辅导员DeeDee女士在本次讲座上的发言底稿

 (译文翻译:红花)

 

“缺乏亲子关系的管教,容易导致忤逆行为” -  By JoshMcDowell


 

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青少年心理辅导员DeeDee对家长的几条建议:

 

1,多和青少年沟通。对孩子重要的事情,对您就是重要的。

家长以身作则,上网必须态度诚实、行为透明;

不妨腾出一点时间,和孩子谈一谈你的日常和网络活动;

在Facebook上建立朋友关系,并且尊重这种关系;

放下成见,和你的孩子玩一会儿电动游戏。

 

2, 自我教育

出席本次的硅谷回音“青少年说出心声”,就是你迈出的重大第一步;

试图去学习和了解你的孩子正在使用的网站;

设置合乎情理的界限,对安全有所掌控;

家长若想了解更多关于网络资讯,可以上www.delindasamp.com查询;

与孩子一起玩安全的游戏,在玩的乐趣中,你会获得大量信息。他们会告诉你游戏内容,并教会你如何 操作网络游戏。

 

3,如果你希望孩子“公开”上网,那么,请你也不要“心怀鬼胎” 

别把电脑藏在自己的小屋里;

就在客厅或吃饭的房间使用电脑;

如果在卧室使用电脑,就打开门;

设置网络宵禁时间。晚上10:00或11:00关闭电脑。

 

4,中小学的孩子限制使用的智能手机,iPad和iPodTouchs

上小学或上中学的孩子使用电脑,家庭必须安装监督系统;

小小孩只适宜在家里玩简易游戏机;

 

5,做榜样

让青少年知道,想比你的手机和Email,孩子是更重要的;

当你和孩子交谈的时候,注意不要让手机中途扰乱;

 

6,珍惜家人在一起的时光,远离电子高科技产品

  安排家庭成员在一起的时间,把电脑和手机统统关掉;

家人在一起可以享受许多乐趣,比如玩画图、猜词、棋累等游戏;或者前往海滩,出去用晚餐,去看表 演等;

每周或每个月,试图完成一件家庭成员一直想要做却无法达成的心愿。

 

7,网络是一个成人的世界

当今有超过40万的成人网站,而且每一个成人网都轻而易举就能进入;

色情网站是当今社会大“新毒品”;

成年人和青少年正以惊人的速度,成为沉迷于网络色情和其他互联网活动的主力军;

打破沉默,与信任的人交流。与你的父母、学校辅导员、牧师、或者我交谈。寻求帮助!

 

 

 

代沟 

家长和青少年对于互联网的体会非常不同,因为彼此之间不能法相互理解,导致了两代人信任和尊重的崩溃。即使这样,作为父母,仍然需要指导自己的孩子,让他们远离危险和诱惑,保证他们的安全。

 

沟通的桥梁

在你认为重要的事情上,要不断和孩子们沟通。和孩子交谈有关他们的网络生活,从而增加双方的信任和尊长。家长要起到表率作用。花时间陪伴孩子成长,设立有效的家庭界限。

 

 

Bay Echo Teens Speak Out

 “Social Media, Video Games and the Internet”

 

 “Rules without relationship = rebellion” - Josh McDowell


 

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Parent Guidelines: Helping Teens Navigate Today’s Technology


 

1, Stay connected with your teen.  What is important to them, should be important to you.

  Work at being honest and transparent about your online use;

You talk about daily activities, talk about online activities; 

Friend each other on Facebook and respect that relationship;

Play online games with your teen.


 

2, Educate yourself

Attending this seminar is a great first step.

Learn about the sites that your teen uses.

Gain an understanding of rules, settings and safety controls.

Research online resources for parents.  Go to www.delindasamp.com

Play cybersafety game with you teens.  They are informative and fun. Ask your teen to help you understand and show you how things work at their sites.

 
 

3, If you want your teen to be “out in the open” about their internet use, keep things out in the open.

  Don’t hide computers in back rooms.

Use computer and laptops out in the family or dining room.

If used in bedroom, keep the door open.

Put a curfew on tech use.  Turn off computers at 10:00 or 11:00 at night.


 

4,  Restrict the use of smart phones, iPads and iPod Touchs from grade school and   middle school age kids.

  Unsupervised internet access is not appropriate for children in grade school or middle school.

Have younger kids use devices at home.If used in bedroom, keep the door open.

Use parent controls or restrictions on all devices。


 

5,  Be a Role Model

Give your teens the message that they are more  important then your cell phone and e-mails.

Don’t let your cell phone interrupt a conversation with your teen.  

All devices have a delay option like voicemail.

 
 

6,  Have family time away from high tech devices 

Schedule quality time together as a family away from computers and cell phones turned off.

Play board games like Pictionary, Balderdash, Apples to Apples, take trips to the beach, go out to a dinner and show.

Make a list of different things family members have always wanted to do and do one thing each week or month.


 

7, The internet is an adult world   

There are more than 40 thousand Adult websites on the internet and it is all too easy to access these websites

Pornography is today’s  “new drug” .

Adults and teens alike are becoming addicted to internet porn and other internet activities at alarming rates.

Break your silence.  Talk to someone you trust.  Talk to your parents, a school counselor, a pastor, or me.   Get help!  

 

 

辅导员DeeDee与硅谷青少年演讲团成员,在Q&A时间,回答家长们的提问。

 

 

The Gap

Parents and teens experience the internet in very different ways.  This causes a breakdown of trust and respect because parents and teens don’t understand each other. However, parents still need to guide their teens and keep them safe.



The Bridge

Connect with your teen about the things that are important to them.  Talk to your teen about their “life” on the internet in a way that will increase trust and respect on both sides.  Be a good role model. Spend time with them.  Work together to establish house rules.

 

 ,青少年辅导员DeeDee女士在演讲会上

 






予微 (2012-04-15 02:26:24)

要我们这些中国家长跟青少年一起玩电脑游戏,有点困难。

不是棋逢对手的,一会儿就意兴阑珊了。

红花 (2012-04-15 16:10:00)

当时有一位家长说,都去玩电游,谁做晚饭呢?全家喝西北风?哈哈哈