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Susan暑假作文读后感(3)--月亮团队(评科普作者的写作技巧)

 

月亮团队

 

凯瑟琳.提莫希著

 

Susan 小哭译

 

哇!我甚至无法描述这本书有多棒! 这是我读过的非虚构类书中最好的一本,甚至比《钟》还好。它讲的是众所周知的阿波罗11登月的故事,但是它采用了一种全新的手法去呈现这个故事,以至于我被它的每一页纸所吸引,没有办法把书放下。这本书并不只是讲述有关尼尔. 阿姆斯壮(译者注:第一个登月的宇航员)的事儿,它还展示了大部分人所不知道的阿波罗11登月的幕后故事。这些故事有发生在任务控制中心的,也有发生在澳大利亚的某个草场的,还有很多很多别的。

 

这本书不是一堆事实、数据、时间和数字的罗列,它是一个故事。它讲故事,讲阿波罗11的故事。它讲的故事好象以前从未有书讲过似的。这本书有些部分把我紧张得直喘气,有些部分则让我高兴得想欢呼,有些部分会让我长出一口气,有些部分又会让我屏住呼吸……而我则早已从书外完全地进入了阿波罗11的故事里了 。我的心一直在呯呯直跳,我觉得自己好像就在现场一般。

 

阿波罗11的故事是按时间顺序讲述的,全书始于安全往返于地球与月球之间这一梦想终于成真时。我是从第一页开始读起的。阅读伊始,我就被拉回到了44年前,1969720/21日(取决于你住在地球的哪一边),那个无比重要的一天。作者的文笔是如此地富有感染力、如此地生动形象,以至于我觉得自己就和那数以百万计的人们一样,正坐在家中的电视机面前收看、等待,甚至屏住呼吸,去见证这20世纪最难以置信的事件。

 

刚一读这本书,我就被吸引了。我知道不管接下来发生什么事儿,都不能阻止我将它读完。我喜欢作者开篇的写法。她先从公众的视角写起,把那天弥漫于空气之中的、人们坐在电视机前面的那种期盼和渴望之情写进她的笔端。然后,她用“他们(公众) 不可能看到的一件事儿……”这句话切换到了实时存在着的另一个视角。就这样,她顺利地将叙事内容转换到了讲述阿波罗11的幕后故事中去了。

 

这本书就像是一本故事书,它从肯尼迪总统第一次宣布登月的梦想开始讲起。然后,时间向前飞跃了八年,来到了宇宙飞船即将发射的那一天。作者给出了在那八年中所做出的努力、所制订的计划,以及需要向读者交待的一些基本信息,然后就——嗖!转换到了八年后。

 

这本书是按节编写的,一节就象是小说中的一章。每一节都有着一个非常好的开头和一个戏剧性的结尾。我确实喜欢接下来一节(标题为“少女航......最后的十英里”)的开头——它引用了尼尔.阿姆斯壮充满寓意的一句话:“鹰是有翅膀的!”这就保证了能够抓住读者的注意力!那六个抒情诗般的文字(译者注:英文是四个字,译成中文就成了六个字了)实际上意味着登月舱“鹰”,已经与驾驶舱“哥伦比亚”分离,正在独自飞行,并且准备降落在月球表面上。注意,作者跳过了所有常规的枯燥环节,比如发射环节以及他们在太空中飞到哪里了等这些环节,直接进入到了最激动人心的一环——旅程的另一个舞台。在那里,一切都刚刚开始。这就像是在读一本好看的小说。

 

从那以后,这本书的大部分内容,都是根据阿罗11所面临的那些不同的挑战来组织安排的,而此时,我已经彻底地沉浸在这本书里了,已经迫不急待地去等着看接下来又发生了什么。“处女航”这一节充满了期盼的情绪,作者给了我们一些关于即将发生什么的信息,然后……剩下的就是等啊等啊等。故事中的每一个人都在等,宇航员、任务控制中心、回家路上的听众,还有和他们一样的我,也在等待。作者已经给我们介绍了背景信息,书中的第一节也有所介绍……那么现在呢?在一本小说中,这经常是提出第一个挑战、难题或冲突,不管你管它叫啥吧,所在的地方。这个故事也是如此。

 

就在“处女航”这节之后,每一件事件都在正常进行着的时候……呯!第一个挑战出现了。作者展示这个信息的手法很高明。我没有办法去概括这一点,所以我直接引用其中的一段话吧。以下是从标题为“挑战1:警报”这一节开始的几句话中节选出来的:“呯!突然,登月仓的主警报器响了起来,提醒人们注意,清洁间中的火警铃响了。‘程序警报’,宇航员尼尔.阿姆斯壮急促而冷静的声音从无线电设备上传了过来: ‘是1202’”。

 

哇!读到这儿,谁不想往下读呢?把读者的胃口吊起来了之后,作者开始解释1202是什么意思,任务控制中心接收到那句话之后采取了什么行动。我的心一直在呯呯直跳,眼睛在书页上快速地浏览,焦急地寻找着接下来发生了什么。接下来的几页纸就象是选自小说或者故事书中一样,一点也不象是来自于一本介绍历史事件的非虚构类书。作者的文笔是如此地传神,让我觉得自己就好像正和那些人一起在任务控制中心里,绞尽脑汁地想弄清楚到底是什么地方出了故障。所以,当问题解决了之后,我长长地出了一口气。然后……

 

乓!新的问题又来了。登陆月球的油箱马上要空了!我不想细致地描述接下来又发生了什么,我只是想告诉你那些内容真的令人很激动。我的心又一次呯呯地跳了起来,希望那些男人(可能也有女人)可以幸运地安全着陆。这本书的后续内容一直沿用了这种方式去讲述他们所面临的八个挑战。这些挑战有些发生在地球上,有些发生在月球上。我的眼睛一直盯在书上。每当我以为总算是没事了的时候,就又有什么事儿发生了。终于,终于,终于,那三个人安全地回到了地球上,而其中有两人曾行走在月球上!

 

当我读到这么令人欣喜的结局时,真想大声地欢呼!我化了整整一个小时的时间才读完这本书。虽然这本书看起来相当地薄,但它其实共有64页那么长,还不包括标题和词汇索引页,读完这本书把我累坏了。真是一本好书,怪不得它赢得了许多的奖项(看下面注释中的奖项表)!读这本书令人无比愉快,我真心地希望我的读者也会去读读。我由衷地推荐这本书! 

 

注释:2007年罗伯特.F.赛伯特信息(专题)书奖

 

美国全国英语教师理事会欧毕斯.皮克特荣誉奖书

 

2007年全国自然科学教师协会-加拿大广播公司推荐给K-12年级的杰出科普书

 

2007年美国艺术与科学研究院/富士杰出科学书SB&F

 

2007年美国图书馆协会推荐给青少年的最好的书

 

2007年美国图书馆协会著名的儿童书

 

(译者注:忘记在哪里看过一篇在美国某图书馆工作的网友的文章了,文章中详细地介绍了图书馆对美国人民的作用,引子是回国时,老朋友的父亲瞧不起她的工作。真心地希望这位网友能够读到这篇译文,给以上奖项译名勘勘误。好像是在万维那儿的网友。)

 

【小哭介绍背景】因为过中秋,家里请客从给餐厅买边桌忙起,所以直到今天才算把这篇小文给翻译完。真有种如释重负的感觉!别人怎么想没关系,关键是我自己一想到不能完成预订的计划就心急火燎地。

 

这篇小文中的内容翻译起来有点辛苦,大概是我的英文还不够好吧。其中关于“1202”火警铃那一句,要是不问Susan,我相当地茫然。意思猜出来是一个,看字面读出来的竟然是另一个!只好让Susan抽空给我解释一下。唉,凑合着译吧。觉得译文有什么不对劲儿的地方,就请读者对照着原文看。若是发现有什么地方可以译得更好,就请千万在后面跟个贴留个言吧。小哭在这里先谢了。

 

Susan在评这本书时,对作者的写作手法有很多的描述。她非常地佩服作者讲故事的能力,也佩服作者多视角自由切换的写作技巧。当意识到她的读后感已经不仅仅是在针对内容而言,更多的是在针对写作手法和技能而言时, 我知道,Susan阅读时并非是在猎奇,她还在分析。她不知觉地就站在了一个作者的角度去分析了,虽然她时刻也没有忘记自己是个读者,处处讲述着一个读者如何地被作者的文字所吸引的感受。心桥多次在留言中提到Susan如果有更多的阅历,就会写出更深刻的文字;还说只有读书破万卷,下笔才会如有神。从Susan的阅读和写作过程中,我们绝对能够找到对心桥这些说法的有效印证!从一个读者的角度写读后感当然会感染人,甚至会达到宣传一本书的效果;但是我是个家长,我更愿意看到孩子从作者的角度去评价书,因为我想看到她的思考高度在哪里。我想看到一本书能够给她带来的东西到底有宽、到底有多广,当然,我也很关心到底有多深。

 

我相信很多人都读过有关阿波罗11的登月故事。前段时间我们家还一起看过NASA制作的那个登月的光碟,就是美国国旗在月球上竟然有被风吹动的痕迹的那个。可是,我还是记不住很多的细节。比如所谓的“1202”,我一点印象也没有!但是我记得看碟时的感受,心确实是一直都在跟着情节走,满紧张的!这么好的一本书,我一开始就想着心桥家的威廉应该会喜欢。可是,译到最后,突然间觉得,也许威廉的关注点不是Susan写的那些激动人心的部分,因为他要的是“干货”fact。如果真的是那种,那威廉将来肯定适合读我们的工程语言——从头到尾全是fact,一个描述性的词句也不会有。

 

如果我们介绍一个桥的长度,我们绝对不会仅仅用“长桥”这两个字,这也太容易引起争议了,我们会这样说——“有一座主跨480米、全长4000米的跨海钢筋与混凝土混合梁桥”,工程语言全是FACT!所以,我们桥梁工程专业的学生们,基本上都觉得桥梁就应该是那样的。后来有一天我开了一门全校科技选修课“世界桥梁轶事”,以为可以趁机“捡”学分的本专业学生也跑来选修,结果发现,桥梁专业的老师讲桥梁竟然还可以——“轻轻的我走了,正如我轻轻的来;我轻轻的招手,作别西天的云彩。”哈哈,在我的课上,竟然还可以看诸如《廊桥遗梦》和《魂断蓝桥》这些管它是真的跟桥沾边的、还是不沾边的电影:)最后有一个学生的大作业,竟然是名字带“桥”的若干成功企业家的奋斗史!在世界桥梁轶事这门课上,想怎么表现创意都会被鼓励:)

 

言归正转,越读Susan的读后感,我越觉得那些投身于写儿童科普读物的专业人士,他们所做工作的社会意义有多么地大!!!现在我最想给Susan找的书,就是这一类!!! 

 

附上英文原文:

Team Moon by Catherine Thimmesh.

 

WOW. I can’t even describe how amazing that book was. The best piece of non-fiction I have ever read, even topping “The Clock”. It talked about the well-known story of Apollo 11 landing on the moon, but it presented the story in such a new light that I was captivated by every page. I seriously couldn’t put the book down. This book didn’t just talk about Neil Armstrong, it showed the behind-the-scenes of Apollo 11, the parts that most people don’t know about, the parts that happened in the Mission Control Center, the parts that happened on a grassy paddock in Australia, and much, much more.

 

This book isn’t a list of facts, dates, times, and numbers. It’s a story. It told a story. The story of Apollo 11. It told the story like no book has ever told it before. There were parts in this book that made me gasp in horror, parts that made me cheer with joy, parts that made me sigh in relief, parts that made me hold my breath in anticipation…. I was swept away in its pages, totally immersed in the story of Apollo 11. This book got my andrenaline pumping, and I felt like I was there.

 

The story of Apollo 11 was told in chronological order, beginning with the dream of getting to the moon and back, safely, and ending with the dream coming true. I was entranced from the first page. The moment I started reading, I was thrown back in time to that fateful day, forty-four years ago, on July 20/21 (depends on which half of the world you live in) 1969. The author’s words were so powerful and vivid that I felt like I was there with those millions of people, sitting in front of their TVs at home, watching, waiting, holding their breaths to witness the most incredible event in the 20th century.

 

The moment I started reading the book, I knew I was caught. I knew I was going to have to finish it, no matter what. I loved the way the author began. She began with the perpective of the public, and put into her writings that feeling of anticipation and eagerness that was in the air as they sat in front of their televisions that day. Then, she switched to a omnipresent perspective, with the words “One thing they [the public] wouldn’t see….”. And with that, she transitioned smoothly into the behind-the-scenes of the story of Apollo 11.

 

The book was like a story. It started from the beginning, when JFK first declared the dream of landing on the moon. Then, it jumped ahead eight years, to the day when the spaceship was about to be launched. The author gave some basic information about what was done during those eight years, what the plan was and all that need-to-know stuff. Then—whoosh

 

The book was written in sections, and each section was like a chapter in a novel. Each section had a really good beginning, and a dramatic ending. I really liked how the next section (titled Maiden Voyage…The Final 10 Miles) began, with the cyptic quote from Neil Armstrong, “The Eagle has wings!”. That’s guaranteed to grab the reader’s attention! Those four lyrical words actually meant the lunar module, Eagle, has separated from the command module, Columbia, and was now flying solo, ready to descend to the surface of the moon. Notice that the author skipped all the rountine boring stuff like the launch and the part where they’re flying through space, and got right down the the exciting part, the next stage of the journey, the part where everything starts happening. Just like in a good novel.

 

Most of the book, from then on, was organized in sections according to the different challenges Apollo 11 faced. By then, I was totally immersed in the book, and couldn’t wait to find out what happened next. The “Maiden Voyage” section had a mood of anticipation surrounding it. The author gave us some information about what was happening, and then…waiting, waiting, waiting. Everyone in the story was waiting, the astronauts, the mission control center, the audiences back home, and I was waiting with them. The author already gave us the background information, and introduced the first scene in the book….now what? In a novel, this is usually the part where the first challenge, problem, conflict, whatever you call it, gets introduced. This story was no different.

 

Right after “Maiden Voyage”, where everything was going alright…BAM! The first challenge rises. The way the author presented this information was phenomenal. There’s no way for me to describe it, so I’ll just put down a quote. This is from the first few sentences in the section titled “Challenge 1: Alarms”. Quote: “BAM! Suddenly, the master alarm in the lunar module rang out for attention with all the racket of the a fire bell going off in a broom closet. ‘Program alarm,’ astronaut Neil Armstrong called out from the LM in a clipped but calm voice. ‘It’s a twelve-oh- two

 

Whoa! After reading that, who wouldn’t want to keep on reading? Then, after the attention grabber, the author went on to explain what a 1202 is, and what happened after that sentence was radioed to the Mission Control. My heart was pounding, and my eyes darted over the page, eager to find out what was going to happen. The next few pages were like pages out of a novel, a storybook, not a non-fiction book about an event in history. The author’s words were like magic, and I felt like I was there with those guys in the Mission Control center, mind racing to figure out what went wrong. Finally, I let out a sigh of relief as the problem was sorted out. Then…

 

BAM! A new problem rises. The fule tank for landing on the moon was almost empty! I won’t give the the details to what happened next, I’ll just tell you it was really exciting. Again, my heart was pouding, wishing those men (and probably women too) luck in safely landing the module. The rest of the book continued like that, going through eight challenges, some on earth, some on the moon. My eyes were glued to the page the whole time. When I thought things were finally alright, something else happened. Finally, finally, finally, those three men landed back on earth, safely, two of them having walked on the moon.

 

I felt like cheering when the book finished on such a joyful note. It took me a whole hour to read the whole book. The book looks pretty thin, but it’s acutally 64 pages long, not including the title and works cited pages. I was exhausted by the end of the book. It was an awesome book. No wonder it won so many awards (see awards in the NOTES below.)! It was an absolute pleasure to read, and I really hope whomever read this would read the book too. I heartily recommend it!

 

 

NOTE:  Winner of the 2007 Robert F. Sibert Infomational Book Award

 

 An NCTE Orbis Pictus Honeor Book

 

2007 NSTA-CBC Outstanding Science Trade Book for Students K-12

 

 2007 AAAS/Subaru SB&F Prize for Excellence in Science Books

 

 2007 ALA Best Book for Young Adults

 

 2007 ALA Notable Children’s Book

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评论

雨林的头像
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Susan从小就能阅读到这么多好书, 真幸运。

 
周小哭的头像
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和雨林有同样的感慨!!!在这里长大的孩子,环境竟然是求他们阅读一样的,只要想阅读,就有得读。

 
周小哭的头像
 #

转春山如笑在她的“老牛和她的妻”中回复我的评论:你和女儿的 “Team Moon” 已拜读,你两合作的天衣无缝。依我看,你女儿不仅是一位写作天才,将来还是marketing 方面难得的人才,看了她写的每一 篇文章,都会让我喜欢上那本书和它的作者!你已成功地将她引导到知识的海洋里....

 
春山如笑的头像
 #

呵呵,谢谢你帮我把这段话贴到这里来。

 
阿朵的头像
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你女儿有语言的驾驭天赋,你有没有给一些英文儿童杂志投投稿?这对她是一个鼓励。

加油!

 
周小哭的头像
 #

投稿还真的没有。能给一些更进一步的信息吗?不知道往哪里投,一直都是自己在家写着玩,然后开学给班主任当夏假作业来着。让她参与校报的工作,她连打听都不肯去打听,说是她想当导演之类的,对拍电影更感兴趣。唉,女大不由娘:(

 
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