I realize that the idea of Asian parent stereotypes is one that has been over-discussed and over-analyzed in many ways, but I haven’t seen many articles discussing the possible origins of these premature judgments and that is why I am writing this article. Up until the 10th grade, I lived in California and spent much of my time in the Asian circles at school (at school they have a saying that “Asians travel in groups,” and it’s surprisingly accurate), so I am familiar with several Asian families with parents who place a great amount of emphasis on stellar academic performance. Even now in New Jersey, though there are probably only around 10-20 Asian families in the entire town, I know of at least 3-4 classmates who have very strict parents and are even sometimes physically abused over their grades. I, thankfully, do not fall into that category; my parents and I have always been on relatively good terms, and so I have a good deal more insight into the way my parents and their friends think of academic discipline than most other ABCs (American Born Chinese, in case you’re not familiar with that acronym).
The most prevalent stereotype is that on academic performance. I do not doubt that there are probably other stereotypes (example: Asian driver no survivor), but when an Asian parent is mentioned, the first image that comes to mind is always a menacing figure with a bamboo stick in hand who will not accept any grade below an A++ average. The big question is “why?” Why does it seem that all Asian teenagers and even some Caucasian teenagers perceive all Asiatic parents as such unreasonable and extreme disciplinary figures? There are probably several inherent causes, but I personally believe that the most influential one is a cultural difference. China and other East Asian countries are often limned (rightfully so) as academically intense societies to the point of disbelief and extremity. I just recently read a news article on a flourishing underground market in China: the faking of transcripts, SAT scores, and recommendation letters; and the statistics are staggering. According to the Washington Post article, over 70% of Chinese students hire someone to fake their SAT scores or to alter their school transcripts to boost their chances of being accepted into America’s superior universities. I have also heard numerous stories from many family friends of their days in high school in China. Going to college was an achievement to be proud of and getting in required years of intensive study and hard work, with colleges maintaining an acceptance rate below 10%. Those who couldn’t go to college would have almost no chance to “make it” and be successful, and so the absolute priority of that era was academic excellence. Only the best of the best could make it across the Pacific Ocean to the United States, and the members of this cream-of-the-crop group brought their extreme emphasis on academic superiority along with them and continue to raise their children in the way that they themselves were raised.
Now that’s not to say that all Asian immigrants have failed to assimilate into American culture. In fact, from what I have personally witnessed, most Asian parents do not fit the mold of stereotypical “Asian parents.” The grade-focused and potentially abusive Asian parents whom many teens associate with all Asian parents probably constitute a minority of the Asian parents in the US; however, many adolescents either do not notice or deliberately ignore this fact and point to the few families who fit the stereotype to justify their preconceptions, although sometimes teens do it only jokingly. Despite the narrow-mindedness of many teens, the fact is that stereotypical Asian parents do exist, and there are still quite a lot of them. Amy Shua’s article is perhaps the most recent portrayal of such, and even more surprising is the fact that Ms. Shua is already a second-generation ABC. Whether this “Tiger mom” method is effective or not in the long run is a debate for another time, but it is a method of child-raising that is wholly inappropriate in American culture. It raises not only legal, but ethical issues as well in a society as focused on individualism as America. Many parents’ extreme emphasis on academic excellence and acceptance into the nation’s top 3 or 4 colleges might partly also have resulted from a misunderstanding of America’s unique education system. Unlike in Asian countries, the getting-into-college part is arguably less important in determining ultimate economic success than the dedication exhibited in college and beyond. Being accepted into an average undergraduate university does not spell out doom, failure and impoverishment in the future as many Asian parents believe; and receiving a B- instead of an A+ in a high school calculus class similarly won’t destroy anyone’s future career before it even begins (whether the goal is to be a doctor, lawyer, or anything else). Although the portrayal of America as “the land of opportunity” might be relatively exaggerated (especially with current rates of unemployment), the fact stands that effort and dedication in obtaining BA and graduate degrees is far more important than elbowing your way into the nation’s top 5 universities (speaking of top 5 universities, these merciless blood-suckers will empty your wallet without a moment’s hesitation, which is strange, considering that the second greatest stereotype is the belief that Asians love money above anything else).
So where does educational philosophy tie into the teenage stereotyping of Asian parents? Well, in almost every way imaginable. While Asian parents are incessantly pushing for entry into colleges such as Princeton, Harvard, Yale, and Stanford, long-time American families seem to place more stress on campus life and familial connections in choosing potential colleges. While Asian parents are nagging their kids about extracurricular activities and GPAs and otherwise trying to emulate a “perfect” college application, many Caucasian American families are encouraging their children to do the sports they want and to take the courses they are interested in (keep in mind that I am not categorizing all Asian or American parents to these stereotypes; there are anomalies on both sides. This is just the general trend I’ve noticed). I won’t say that the “Asian method” is ineffective, for it has been providing results. School districts with higher standardized test scores generally have a higher percentage of Asians in their populations. However, the overemployment of this method may in the end be having detrimental effects, as more and more colleges are starting to look upon Asian applicants under a negative light, believing them to be narrow-minded study-bots (hence the dreaded and discriminatory Affirmative Action system).
I do not argue for or against the viability of Asian traditions of discipline and education, but I do oppose its use outside of the Asian countries. Asian and American culture are polar opposites, and it is this brazen juxtaposition of the two brought about by many non-assimilating Asian immigrants that has conceived exaggerated yet partially true stereotypes about Asian parents. Some are even outright insulting (Asians are stingy. Asians are crazy drivers. Asians eat dumplings and fried rice every day. In fact, the only half-positive stereotype I can think of is that Asians are generally smart). Preserving pride is one thing; another is creating a hopeful future for the next (my) generation, and I must be direct in saying that I firmly believe that the so called “Asian method” of academic motivation will not benefit much in this regard. There may be exceptions, but in general the values taught by this system are irreconcilable with the values inherent in American culture and therefore have no place in it.
中文链接：偏见中的亚裔父母 （中译文，原文by Kevin)
| 牧童歌谣 (2012-03-14 22:50:28) |
|
Dear Kevin, Thank you for sharing your perspectives with us. I am impressed with your beautiful writing and your in depth analysis of the "Asian Parents" phenomenom. As an Asian parent myself, I can't tell you how much I am touched by your writing. The unique experiences and the competitive nature of our life paths have molded us into a certain pattern. I am grateful for and humbled by the incredible joy and challenge God has given us in raising our children in America. It is a learning process and it is a joyful journey for us. Just want to say thank you. You are a wonderful young man. Your mom's friend. |
| kevint95 (2012-03-14 23:59:14) |
|
Thank you for the nice comment! It certainly is a learning process for both sides. I hope that you know that we teens truly appreciate what our parents do for us, even if sometimes we don't admit it or forget to express our gratitude. Kevin |
